59
What a large number of Letters. Yes; this is the Actor's mail. Tear some of the letters Open, and let us see who sent them. In this way we will save the Actor trouble and he will Love us. Here is one on Pink paper from Gwendoline. She says the Actor is her Idol. Isn't that nice of Gwendoline? All young girls should encourage the Poor Hard-working Actor with kind words. My! Here is one from Gwendoline's Mother. Perhaps she wants him to meet her daughter. No. She says he reminds her of an old Sweetheart, and will he go Driving with her in the Park! Here is a laundry bill Six months old. Throw it away, Johnny; the Actor will not want to see it. Another letter is from a woman who Wants to know when He is going to pay the alimony. We had better hang this One up where the rest of the Company can see It.
60
What lovely diamonds the Actress is wearing. See, she has them all over her. They Must have cost as Much as Five dollars. No; they are not imitation; that is a cruel slander started by a Rival. Perhaps it is the Base rival who steals the Actress's jewels every time they go to a New town. All actresses' diamonds are Real. They wouldn't wear Imitations. Oh, Horrors, no! But they are very unfortunate, for the Diamonds are often Stolen. Are they not Lucky to get them back?
61
This play is a Musical Comedy. It says so on the Bills. Bills are very useful, for they tell us a lot of Things we wouldn't know Otherwise. There are two Singing Comedians in the Play. See what Foolish antics they cut up. No, they are not Crazy; they are very, very funny. Listen; one of them is Saying a song. Is it not a shame That they Cannot sing! They would have beautiful voices if they could sing. But then they would not be called Singing Comedians.