Hark! Do you Hear the real Fire bells? Oh, see the real Fire engine dash across the Stage! The horses move Almost as quickly as a Broadway car. How red the real Flames are. Yes; the Gas bill will be very High. Do not scream, children; no one will get Burnt. This is not a Real fire; there is no Smoke. The show is Certainly a Hot one. It will be Hotter to-morrow—after the Critics have Roasted it. The programme says the Fire scene is marvellously Realistic. Let us Light two or three programmes and Throw them into the aisle. There! Do you notice any Difference?
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See the Gallery usher. He must be Very tired, for he leans indolently against the doorpost. Perhaps he does not like his High station. How Graceful is his pose; how airy his demeanor. His clothes are shabby—or perhaps it is a new style. We will Ask him to Take us to our seats. Surely you Did not expect him to Move? Oh, no; he would Not think of doing That. Instead, he waves His hand gracefully. He says, "First two, first row." How kind! We will not disturb his rest. But if you will tap his forehead Gently with a Brick, Johnny, he may wake up.
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Let us listen to the Popular song. It is being sung by a Charming damsel. No; Johnny, we are not referring to the Song but to the Singer. The song ends in oo-oo-oo. Isn't it a Masterpiece! And the music sounds like yellow hosiery. How sublimely entrancing! The song is a Great success. Everybody will Buy several copies. The song is popular because it ends in oo-oo-oo! No one cares for the rest of the words. Noble words like These will make any Song popular. If you are a Genius, Clara, you will write an oo-oo-oo song.