"I think not," said Kit. "I'm dull, but sometimes I do understand, and I now see all I lost. You wanted me to have my chance; you thought to be tied to you might keep me back? Yet I believe you loved me. Let's be frank!"
"Suppose I did love you?" said Betty, with a blush, although her voice was quiet.
"To begin with, you know how I used my freedom; you know my ridiculous ambitions."
"You mean you were ridiculous when you fell in love with Olivia Brown?"
"Yes," said Kit. "Anyhow, it was ridiculous for me to imagine I could marry her."
Betty gave him a keen glance, for she was human. She liked Kit's staunchness, but nevertheless sometimes it jarred.
"Nevertheless you did not feel you were ridiculous, when you thought you could marry me!"
"I was a fool. My wanting you was all the sense I had. The strange thing was, from the beginning you were my guide, and I tried to use your rules. When I lost the men in Africa, I went back to look for them because I felt you would have me go. I was accountable, the job was mine, but I would not have known this had I not known you. It was like that before and afterwards——"
Betty was moved, but she thought Kit was not altogether just to himself. His honesty was instinctive, and he paid his debts.
"But that's not all," he resumed. "At Liverpool you sometimes puzzled me. You saw and followed a light I did not. Once when I talked about climbing above the crowd, you said perhaps one need not climb. One ought to stop at one's proper level, and try to make things better. Well, when the Spaniards offered me a good post, I remembered. I'd had enough of shabby ambitions and knew my level. In fact, so to speak, the light was breaking."