“You will, at least, give us your reasons.”
“I’ll try, though I’m not sure you will understand them; it’s unfortunate we’re so different that we cannot find a common viewpoint from which to look at things. I believe I’ve overcome what bitterness I once felt, but in all that’s essential I haven’t changed. After the first few weeks, I should jar on you, or I should have to be continually on my guard, until the repression got too much for me and the inevitable outbreak came.”
“Why should there be an outbreak?” his father asked with some asperity.
Cyril glanced at Gertrude, noticing her rather weary smile, and fancied that she could sympathize with him, which was more than he had expected. She had somehow gained comprehension in Canada.
“I suppose I must explain. I’m not thinking of my worst faults, but, you see, I’m a careless trifler, impatient of restraint. To have to do things in stereotyped order distresses me; I must go where my fancy leads. When I’m cooped up and confined, I feel I must break loose, even if it leads to havoc.” He laughed. “Of course, such a frame of mind is beyond your imagining.”
“I must confess that it is,” Jernyngham replied dryly.
Gertrude cast a half-applauding glance at her brother. With all his failings, which she recognized and deplored, Cyril was to her something of a romantic hero. He took risks, and did daring and perhaps somewhat discreditable things, but, narrow as her decorous life had been, she envied his reckless gallantry. Once she had ventured to break through the safe rules of conduct and grasp at romance, but it had eluded her and left her humiliation and regret. She must go back to the dreary routine wherein lay security, but she admired him for standing out.
“Well,” said Cyril, “I’m talking at large; but we must thrash out the matter once for all. I may do something useful here—make wheat grow; perhaps help in developing the mine—which I couldn’t do at home.” He paused and concluded whimsically: “It’s even possible that I may turn into a successful rancher.”
“But that means working like an English field laborer!”
“For a higher pay. When the crop escapes drought and frost, and there’s no hail or rust, western farming’s fairly profitable.”