Festing was silent for a few moments and then went on: “Well, I have confessed two blunders and think it has done me good; but I'm getting nearer what I want to say. Bob's something of a philosopher and once remarked that events and people seldom force us into coils; our passions and characters entangle us. He was scoffing at the power of the theatrical villain and used Wilkinson for an example.”
“But Wilkinson had something to do with our troubles.”
“Not very much, after all. Perhaps he's accountable for my broken bones, but it was my obstinacy and ridiculous self-confidence that sent me here. That's what I really mean to talk about.”
“Is it necessary?” Helen asked. “I was foolish to be jealous of the farm. Women have sometimes worse grounds for jealousy.”
“That would have been impossible for us! Nobody who knew you could be attracted by another woman.”
“Bob was attracted,” said Helen with a blush. “One must own that he was prudent. I haven't Sadie's courage and patience.”
“In those days, Bob was a besotted whisky-tank; but we are not going to talk about him. I'm afraid I was forgetful and went my own way like an obstinate fool. It was wrong, ridiculously wrong; I'm not going to excuse myself, but I want you to understand.”
He paused, for effort and emotion had tired him, but presently resumed: “I wouldn't use your money, but this wasn't altogether because I was too proud to let you help. I wanted to keep you safe; farming's a risky business, and I couldn't play a niggardly, cautious game. There was the land, waiting to be worked; I couldn't spare labor or money. But since both might be lost, I was afraid to use your fortune as a stake.”
“I understand,” said Helen. “All the same, I would have been glad to take the risk. I don't think I'm very much afraid of hardship—”
Festing smiled. “You have pluck, but don't know the strain that the wives of the struggling farmers have to bear. My object is to see that you don't know. But there's another thing, harder to explain; you felt that I neglected you, and I fear I did!”