Garside's Career: A Comedy in Four Acts

by Harold Brighouse

[Re-enter, left, Fred, and Peter. Fred, addressing Peter.

Fred. Yes. I'll come back. I say, Garside, before I go, congratters, and all that sort of thing, you know.

Peter (the pair have emerged very friendly). Congratulations?

Fred. (sweeping his hat round). On all this.

Peter (still puzzled). This?

Fred. This jolly little place, and so on.

Peter. Oh, that's nothing. Part of the game, my boy.

Fred. It's a profitable game when you can run to this after six months of it.

Peter. It doesn't afford it. Did you ever hear of the hire system? A man who means to be a big success simply must have a decent address and be on the telephone. People won't believe in you if you're content to hide yourself up a mean street.

Fred. But you are a big success, Mr. Garside.