She here became so deathly pale, that I feared she would faint; and hastened to say, ‘My dear friend, I have heard that.’ She asked quickly, ‘From whom?’ and I answered, ‘From Mrs. ----;’ when she replied, ‘Oh, yes!’ as if recollecting herself.
I then asked her some questions; in reply to which she said, ‘I will tell you.’
She then spoke of her first acquaintance with Lord Byron; from which I gathered that she, an only child, brought up in retirement, and living much within herself, had been, as deep natures often were, intensely stirred by his poetry; and had felt a deep interest in him personally, as one that had the germs of all that is glorious and noble.
When she was introduced to him, and perceived his admiration of herself, and at last received his offer, although deeply moved, she doubted her own power to be to him all that a wife should be. She declined his offer, therefore, but desired to retain his friendship. After this, as she said, a correspondence ensued, mostly on moral and literary subjects; and, by this correspondence, her interest in him was constantly increased.
At last, she said, he sent her a very beautiful letter, offering himself again. ‘I thought,’ she added, ‘that it was sincere, and that I might now show him all I felt. I wrote just what was in my heart.
‘Afterwards,’ she said, ‘I found in one of his journals this notice of my letter: “A letter from Bell,—never rains but it pours.”’
There was through her habitual calm a shade of womanly indignation as she spoke these words; but it was gone in a moment. I said, ‘And did he not love you, then?’ She answered, ‘No, my dear: he did not love me.’
‘Why, then, did he wish to marry you?’ She laid her hand on mine, and said in a low voice, ‘You will see.’
She then told me, that, shortly after the declared engagement, he came to her father’s house to visit her as an accepted suitor. The visit was to her full of disappointment. His appearance was so strange, moody, and unaccountable, and his treatment of her so peculiar, that she came to the conclusion that he did not love her, and sought an opportunity to converse with him alone.
She told him that she saw from his manner that their engagement did not give him pleasure; that she should never blame him if he wished to dissolve it; that his nature was exceptional; and if, on a nearer view of the situation, he shrank from it, she would release him, and remain no less than ever his friend.