“No. I knew how to manage that. I used to lance their gums myself, and I never had any trouble: it’s all in management. I weaned ’em all myself, too: there’s no use in having any fuss in weaning children.”
“Mrs. Exact, you are a wonderful manager; but it would be impossible to bring up all babies so.”
“You’ll never make me believe that: people only need to begin right. I’m sure I’ve had a trial of eight.”
“But there’s that one baby of Mrs. Evans’s makes more trouble than all your eight. It cries every night so that somebody has to be up walking with it; it wears out all the nurses, and keeps poor Mrs. Evans sick all the time.”
“Not the least need of it; nothing but shiftless management. Suppose I had allowed my children to be walked with; I might have had terrible times, too; but I began right. I set down my foot that they should lie still, and they did; and if they cried, I never lighted a candle, or took ’em up, or took any kind of notice of it; and so, after a little, they went off to sleep. Babies very soon find out where they can take advantage, and where they can’t. It’s nothing but temper makes babies cry; and if I couldn’t hush ’em any other way, I should give ’em a few good smart slaps, and they would soon learn to behave themselves.”
“But, dear Mrs. Exact, you were a strong, healthy woman, and had strong, healthy children.”
“Well, isn’t that baby of Mrs. Evans’s healthy, I want to know? I’m sure it is a great creature, and thrives and grows fat as fast as ever I saw a child. You needn’t tell me anything is the matter with that child but temper and its mother’s coddling management.”
Now, in the neighborhood where she lives, Mrs. Alexander Exact is the wonderful woman, the Lady Bountiful, the pattern female. Her cake never rises on one side, or has a heavy streak in it. Her furs never get a moth in them; her carpets never fade; her sweetmeats never ferment; her servants never neglect their work; her children never get things out of order; her babies never cry, never keep one awake o’ nights; and her husband never in his life said, “My dear, there’s a button off my shirt.” Flies never infest her kitchen, cockroaches and red ants never invade her premises, a spider never had time to spin a web on one of her walls. Everything in her establishment is shining with neatness, crisp and bristling with absolute perfection,—and it is she, the ever-up-and-dressed, unsleeping, wide-awake, omnipresent, never-tiring Mrs. Exact, that does it all.
Besides keeping her household ways thus immaculate, Mrs. Exact is on all sorts of charitable committees, does all sorts of fancy-work for fairs; and whatever she does is done perfectly. She is a most available, most helpful, most benevolent woman, and general society has reason to rejoice in her existence.
But, for all this, Mrs. Exact is as intolerant as Torquemada or a locomotive-engine. She has her own track, straight and inevitable; her judgments and opinions cut through society in right lines, with all the force of her example and all the steam of her energy, turning out neither for the old nor the young, the weak nor the weary. She cannot, and she will not, conceive the possibility that there may be other sorts of natures than her own, and that other kinds of natures must have other ways of living and doing.