Most mothers are very thankful for practical hints from one who is supposed to know, and who, during a four to six weeks' stay, makes herself one of the family, and offers advice in the right way and at the right time.
The great sex question is almost sure to be discussed at such a time. The advent of a new baby is such a wonderful thing that nearly always the other little ones want to know (very naturally) where it came from. Little folks are brimful of curiosity. It is Nature's way, I suppose, of teaching them. Every new thing fills them with admiration, with joy, and they must know all about it. "Oh, mamma, what a lovely new pony! Where did you get it?" "Is it really mine?" "Oh, papa, what a dandy, new sled! Where did you get it? Can't I use it right now?" "Oh, have we got a new baby? A real baby? Is it ours? Where did it come from?" "Can't I hold it?"
All are familiar with these expressions of wonder, of delight, of joy of possession, but how to satisfy the eager mind aright is a problem requiring our most careful thought. Books, papers, and magazines tell us what to say and how to say it. All this should be talked over, and, if the mother does not know, the nurse should know what books to tell her to read.
The medical world to-day is much concerned over the question of prostitution and its effect upon the coming race, through the transmission of syphilitic taint to an innocent wife, who is thereafter barren, or who bears syphilitic children. The folly of the double standard, purity insisted on for the wife, unchasity condoned in the husband; all these subjects are sure to be brought up, and the nurse who goes prepared on these and kindred topics can do an immense amount of good to the women she nurses.
She can show how useful the knowledge of chastity is to a boy-the strength that comes from self-control, the weakness that follows self-indulgence, the danger to himself and to those he really loves when he contaminates himself with prostitutes. A young man once said to a friend of mine, "Oh! if my mother had only warned me of the suffering I would cause myself and others, I never would have polluted my body and shamed my soul." The nurse should know how to instruct the mother as to the signs of self-abuse in her little boys, so that she may know what causes the nervous movements, the pallor, the fitful appetite, the dark circles under the eyes, the listlessness, the fondness for being alone—any one of which should call for extreme watchfulness. All these things a nurse should be sure to know, so that, as far as in her lies, she should be one more earnest woman striving to make the world better for her having lived and worked in it. A wise man has given this quaint description of a perfectly educated man: "When a man knows what he knows, when he knows what he does not know, when he knows where to go for what he should know, I call that a perfectly educated man." So with the nurse. When she finds a social problem with which she is not familiar, let her turn to this list of books, magazine articles, and pamphlets upon the subject: Chapman, Rose R., The Moral Problems of Children; Dock, Lavinia L., Hygiene and Morality; Hall, Winfield Scott, Reproduction and Sexual Hygiene; Henderson, Charles W., Education with Reference to Sex; Lyttelton, E., Training of the Young in the Laws of Sex; Morley, Margaret W., The Renewal of Life; Morrow, Dr. P. A., Social Diseases and Marriage; Saleeby, Caleb W., Parenthood and Race Culture; Wilson, Dr. Robert N., The American Boy and the Social Evil, The Nobility of Boyhood, 50 cents (contained in "The American Boy and the Social Evil"); Hall, Stanley, Educational Problems, Chapter on the Pedagogy of Sex, Adolescence, Youth; Northcoate, H., Christianity and Sex Problems; Janney, Dr. Edward O., The White Slave Traffic in America; Report of the 3 8th Conference of Charities and Corrections, in Boston, June, 1911, Sex-Hygiene Section; Kauffman, Reginald Wright, The House of Bondage; Summary of the Chicago Vice Commission, in the May number of Vigilance; Education with Reference to Sex in the August number of Vigilance (published monthly at 156 Fifth Ave., New York City, at five cents per copy); The Cause of Decency, Theodore Roosevelt, Outlook, July 15, 1911; articles on The Causes of Prostitution in Collier's Weekly, from time to time, since April 1, by Reginald Wright Kauffman; articles on the Necessity for Teaching Sex Hygiene, in Good Housekeeping, beginning with the September number; Dr. Dale's articles on Moral Prophylaxis, in the JOURNAL OF NURSING since the July number; Instructing Children in the Origin of Life, Elisabeth Robinson Scovil, in October JOURNAL OF NURSING; Leaflets and pamphlets published by American Motherhood, 188 Main Street, Cooperstown, New York; Publications of the American Association of Sanitary and Moral Prophylaxis, New York City, JOURNAL OF NURSING, February, 1912.
One last word and I have finished. Be careful, oh so careful, that your instructions are acceptable, that your pupil is anxious to be taught. Most mothers are anxious on these subjects; if one is encountered who does not care, first try to make her care (and this is a task, indeed), and then teach her what to do and how to do it.
IX
CONVALESCENCE
One frequently hears the private duty nurse deplore the necessity of her remaining with a patient during convalescence. "I wish," such a one would say, "that I never need stay with a patient after the temperature has been normal for ten days," or, "I do not mind the first two weeks of an obstetric case, then there is something to do, but after that I am ready to leave," or again, "When my patient is ready to go out driving, I always wish she would drive me home; half-sick people are not to my taste." I have often wondered if this feeling is not caused by the atmosphere of the hospital which has, during training, been the nurse's home,—the hospital, where the patient leaves at the earliest possible moment of recovery, to make room for someone else. The pupil nurse gets used to the excitement of critical illness, used to the hard work of constant watching and fighting for the patients' lives, and that, and only that, it seems to her, is nursing. So when she goes to her private cases, and her patient has a long period of convalescence, she feels out of place, she does not seem to be doing what she was trained to do, and she frets over it, until some happy day when the doctor releases her, and she is at liberty to go once more to some one who is at death's door.
Nurses seem to feel that caring for a convalescent is not "nursing," but there they are mistaken. After a serious illness it takes a long time to restore the patient to perfect health, some function may need the close watching which only trained eyes can give, and it is not beneath the dignity of the nurse to remain, and keep watch until every part is once more in perfect working order. Many nurses feel that it is not nursing to amuse a patient, but it is nursing to help him on to the healthy plane from which he has fallen, to play games with an invalid and to watch him, to read with him, and to watch, to walk or ride or travel with him, and to watch, always to watch, that the dreaded symptom does not appear, that the one part which still needs care gets it.