I wonder if I couldn't talk to Mrs. Baker. She's at home now. Or there's the Judge's sister, Miss Marcia, the dearest old maid. I've only seen her once or twice, but I believe she'd be good to know.
I have too many problems to stay here. I must make some settled plan, now that my life means so much to all the women in the world. And—how to deal with a headstrong young man who won't take "no" for an answer or "wait" for wisdom I simply don't know. If he would only give me time to make my own acquaintance! There are so many things to think of. A great world is open to me. I have the key and I am going to live the most beautiful life.
I must think and plan and learn how not to be frightened at my own face in the mirror; I must—I simply must have time.
* * * * *
Dec. 17.
I have just seen John again; he came up to Barnard, which won't do at all. And he came home with me, and—how he loves me!
But I can manage him. Indeed, he was more reasonable to-day.