Issued Tuesday Evening, September 9th, 1890, at 5.30 p.m.

Section A...Hors d'Œuvres—Kinetic Vacua.
Section B...Purée Pontoise—Isomeric Naphthalene.
Consommé à la Princesse—Hydracid Halogen.
Section C...Boiled Salmon—Glacial Lepidodendron.
Fried Smelts—Horned Dinosaur.
Section D...Kromesky à la Russe—Androgynous Cones.
Poulet Sauté à la Chasseur—Chytridian Woronina.
Section E...Braised Fillet of Beef—Lobengula Lion.
Roast Saddle of Mutton—Native Kalahari.
Section F...Grouse—Statistics of Slaughter.
Partridge—Progressive Decimation.
Section G...*Savarin à l'Abricot—Diamagnetic amperes.
Sicilian Cream—A New Lubricant.
Victoria Jelly—High Carbon Slag.
Maids of Honour—Kinetic Leverage.
Pastry—Approaching the Elastic Limit.
Section H...Ice Pudding—Prognathous Brachycephaloid.
Croûte d'Anchois—Unidentified Origin.
Dessert—Prehistoric Jourouks.

* Should the discussion of these Papers interfere with the transactions of the other Sections, one or more will be taken as eaten.

H.B. ——, Jackals.
W. ——,

The Pointed Beards

OMEBODY has said that an Englishman will find any excuse to give a dinner, but my experience has been that this is truer of Americans. I have been the guest of many extraordinary dining clubs, but as the most unique I select the Pointed Beards of New York. To club and dine together because one has hair cut in a particular way is the raison d'être of the club; there is nothing heroic, nothing artistic or particularly intellectual. It is not even a club to discuss hirsute adornments; such a club might be made as interesting as any other, provided the members were clever.

That most delightful of littérateurs, Mr. James Payn, once interested himself, and with his pen his readers, in that charming way of his, on the all-important question, "Where do shavers learn their business? Upon whom do they practise?" After most careful investigation he answers the question, "The neophytes try their prentice hands upon their fellow barbers." That may be the rule, but every rule has an exception, and I happened once to be the unfortunate layman when a budding and inexperienced barber practised his art upon me. I sat in the chair of a hairdresser's not a hundred miles from Regent Street. I had selected a highly respectable, thoroughly English establishment, as I was tired of being held by the nose by foreigners' fingers saturated with the nicotine of bad cigarettes. I entered gaily, and to my delight a fresh-looking British youth tied me up in the chair of torture, lathered my chin, and began operations. I was not aware of the fact that I was being made a chopping-block of until the youth, agitated and extremely nervous, produced a huge piece of lint and commenced dabbing patches of it upon my countenance. Then I looked at myself in the glass. Good heavens! Was I gazing upon myself, or was it some German student, lacerated and bleeding after a sanguinary duel? I stormed and raged, and called for the proprietor, who was gentle and sorry and apologetic, and explained to me that the boy must begin upon somebody, and I unfortunately was the first victim! I allow my beard to grow now.