"Don't Buy a Pig in a Poke."
Unscrupulous Pigmongers will Attempt to wheedle and to coax The ignorant young housewife till She purchases her pigs in pokes; Beasts that have got a Lurid Past, Or else are far Too Good to Last.
So, should you not desire to be The victim of a cruel hoax, Then promise me, ah! promise me, You will not purchase pigs in pokes! ('Twould be an error just as big To poke your purchase in a pig.)
Too well I know the bitter cost, To turn this subject off with jokes; How many a fortune has been lost By men who purchased pigs in pokes. (Ah! think on such when you would talk With mouths that are replete with pork!)
And, after dinner, round the fire, Astride of Grandpa's rugged knee, Implore your bored but patient sire To tell you what a Poke may be. The fact he might disclose to you— Which is far more than I can do.
* * * * * * *
The Moral of The Pigs and Pokes Is not to make your choice too quick. In purchasing a Book of Jokes, Pray poke around and take your pick. Who knows how rich a mental meal The covers of this book conceal?
"Learn to Take Things Easily."
To these few words, it seems to me, A wealth of sound instruction clings; O Learn to Take things easily— Espeshly Other People's Things; And Time will make your fingers deft At what is known as Petty Theft.
Your precious moments do not waste; Take Ev'rything that isn't tied! Who knows but you may have a Taste, A Gift perhaps, for Homicide,— (A Mania which, encouraged, thrives On Taking Other People's Lives).