'Uncle Joe,' 'Aunt Eliza,' 'John,' 'The Cat,' and 'Bluebeard,' were included in Mr. Russell's American edition of Ruthless Rhymes for Heartless Homes.
CONTENTS
| PAGE | ||
| Author's Preface | [ix] | |
| Foreword | [xi] | |
| PART I | ||
| THE BABY'S BAEDEKER | ||
| i. | Abroad | [3] |
| ii. | United States of America | [6] |
| iii. | Great Britain | [9] |
| iv. | Scotland | [11] |
| v. | Ireland | [13] |
| vi. | Wales | [15] |
| vii. | China | [16] |
| viii. | France | [19] |
| ix. | Germany | [21] |
| x. | Holland | [23] |
| xi. | Iceland | [26] |
| xii. | Italy | [27] |
| xiii. | Japan | [30] |
| xiv. | Portugal | [32] |
| xv. | Russia | [33] |
| xvi. | Spain | [36] |
| xvii. | Switzerland | [39] |
| xviii. | Turkey | [41] |
| xix. | Dreamland | [44] |
| xx. | Stageland | [47] |
| xxi. | Loverland | [48] |
| xxii. | Homeland | [53] |
| PART II | ||
| CHILDISH COMPLAINTS AND OTHER RUTHLESS RHYMES | ||
| Childish Complaints— | ||
| Prelude | [57] | |
| Appendicitis | [61] | |
| Whooping-Cough | [61] | |
| Measles | [62] | |
| Adenoids | [62] | |
| Croup | [62] | |
| Ruthless Rhymes— | ||
| i. | Mother-Wit | [63] |
| ii. | Uncle Joe | [64] |
| iii. | Aunt Eliza | [65] |
| iv. | Absent-mindedness | [66] |
| v. | John | [68] |
| vi. | Baby | [71] |
| vii. | The Cat | [72] |
| PART III | ||
| PERVERTED PROVERBS | ||
| i. | 'Virtue is its own Reward' | [77] |
| ii. | 'Enough is as Good as a Feast' | [86] |
| iii. | 'Don't Buy a Pig in a Poke' | [89] |
| iv. | 'Learn to Take Things Easily' | [91] |
| v. | 'A Rolling Stone Gathers no Moss' | [92] |
| vi. | 'It is Never Too Late to Mend' | [96] |
| vii. | 'A Bad Workman Complains of his Tools' | [99] |
| viii. | 'Don't Look a Gift-horse in the Mouth' | [100] |
| ix. | Potpourri | [103] |
| PART IV | ||
| OTHER VERSES | ||
| Bill | [111] | |
| The Legend of the Author | [114] | |
| The Motriot | [128] | |
| The Ballad of the Artist | [130] | |
| The Ballad of Ping-pong | [135] | |
| The Pessimist | [138] | |
| The Place where the Old Cleek Broke | [140] | |
| The Homes of London | [143] | |
| The Happiest Land | [146] | |
| A London Involuntary | [151] | |
| Bluebeard | [154] | |
| The Woman with the Dead Soles | [166] | |
| Rosemary (A Ballad of the Boudoir) | [170] | |
| Portknockie's Porter | [172] | |
| The Ballad of the Little Jinglander | [176] | |
| Aftword | [182] | |
| Envoi | [185] |
AUTHOR'S PREFACE
With guilty, conscience-stricken tears,
I offer up these rhymes of mine
To children of maturer years
(From Seventeen to Ninety-nine).
A special solace may they be
In days of second infancy.
The frenzied mother who observes
This volume in her offspring's hand,
And trembles for the darling's nerves,
Must please to clearly understand,
If baby suffers by and by
The Publisher's at fault, not I!