If he was as stubborn as a pig,
And as patient as a mule;
If he was as ruthless as a tiger cat,
And had the assurance of a fool;
If he were quick in danger, slow in wrath,
And as coy as a country maid—
Why, then I really do believe
He could make a success in TRADE.
But, as I’m not any or all these things,
And have no great love of pelf,