Jane. (Smacking his face.) You’re a fool!
Alph. Jane, you have touched me on a tender spot.
Jane. Where?
Alph. An unseen place. You have called me a fool! I can stand being called a thief, swindler, liar, or even murderer, but when a person calls me a fool, they insult the mother I board with! Away, woman, don’t attempt to cajole me!
Jane. (Crying.) I ain’t—I don’t want to cajole you!
Alph. Why don’t you come and catch hold of me? Come and kiss me!
Jane. (Crying.) I sha’n’t, you nasty, ugly, dirty, drunken beast.
Alph. When you speak loving words like those, I know you love me! Come and kiss your little snowdrop!
Jane. (Annoyed.) Kiss you? Not I. When I kiss anyone it will be a fine, tall, handsome gentleman, someone who hasn’t lost all idea of chivalry!
Alph. (Taken back.) I didn’t mean what you said. I mean I didn’t say what I mean!