Dol. I strongly suspect that infernal villain of a husband of yours, to hide the evidence of your marriage to him!
Hil. Then I am lost! for he surely must have destroyed it. Oh, what shall I do—what shall I do!
Dol. Shut up! If you get me all excited, I’ll have nothing to do with it. I don’t believe he has destroyed it at all, but has it in his possession. I’m going to do a little detective work, and I warrant you that I’ll spare no money to gain my point. I said I’d see this thing through, and hang me if I don’t go my length in it.
Hil. Oh, thank you, sir!
Dol. Now listen to my plan. [Noise heard, L. 2 E.]
Hil. Some one approaches! Let us walk on a piece, where there is no danger of being overheard. [Exeunt Hilda and Dollerclutch, R. 2 E.]
Enter Anastasia, L. 2 E., with letter in hand.
Anas. [Looks around.] I have written a few lines to the dear man, just to encourage him a bit—he seemed so confused. I will leave it here on this bench. [Lays it on bench R. C.] He will surely come back and find it. George Washington Dollerclutch! Oh! he must be a brave man to have such a grand name! [Noise heard, R. 2 E.] I hear footsteps! It must be he returning—I’ll retire for a few moments. [Exit L. 2 E.]
Enter Coriolanus, R. 2 E.
Cor. How dare he lay violent hands upon me—a gentleman of nobility! I cannot suffer such indignity to pass unnoticed. [Sees letter on bench.] What’s this! a letter?—and her handwriting, too! [Reads.] “To one I love”—hem! that’s me! [Opens it—reads.] “Thou adorable one with the brave sounding name,”—she likes my name! “Ever since our first meeting have you made the profoundest impression upon my heart.”—I knew it! “Maidenly modesty has prevented me from making an open expression of my affection. My heart expands within my bosom. If you love me wear a red necktie and smile upon me when next we meet. With all maidenly reserve, I am yours, A. M.” I will procure the necktie at once, and prepare to satisfy the longing of her heart with the knowledge that her love is returned. [Exit Coriolanus, L. 2 E.]