Hen. You mean George Washington was—but I mean George Washington Dollerclutch.
Dol. Sir! Do you mean to insinuate that my bravery is a matter of doubt? You wrong me, sir! You wrong me, I can assure you. My deeds of valor have saved the day many a time—many a time. Do you understand? But my modesty won’t allow me to speak of them. Even in my childhood was I noted for my bravery. I took Mrs. Winslow’s soothing syrup with the most unflinching courage. Nothing would delight me more than a hand-to-hand encounter with a whole regiment of rebels. I would glory in the chance, sir! I have smelt powder many times. [He shoots off his revolver, smells the smoke from the barrel, and struts the stage. Henry whispers to Adolphus and points to Dollerclutch.]
Adol. [Aside to Henry.] All right, captain; I understand! [He steals off cautiously, L. 2 E. Henry beckons to Coriolanus to follow him, enjoining caution. Exeunt, R. 2 E. All this is done unperceived by Dollerclutch.]
Dol. To take me for a coward—bah! Gentlemen, you don’t know! you—[Turns and finds them gone.] Hello! where the deuce did they go? [Looks around in the different tents.]
Enter Adolphus, L. 2 E., in a rebel suit, with gun and false whiskers. He is not noticed by Dollerclutch. Adolphus brings his gun to shoulder and points it at Dollerclutch.
Adol. [L. C.] Halt, and surrender. [Dollerclutch at tent, R. 5 E. He turns suddenly in a fright—his knees knock together—he raises his hands and tries to speak.] Don’t move a muscle or I’ll bore you.
Dol. [C.] Don’t shoot! Oh, please don’t shoot. Please, Mr. Rebel, I have sixteen small children. Oh! consider what will become of them when I am taken from them! [Adolphus drops his gun. Aside.] Ah! that melted him! [Adolphus raises gun again.] Oh! oh!
Adol. Remove your cap! [Dollerclutch complies with all.] Place it on the ground. Take off your coat. Place it with your cap! [Adolphus takes off his cap and throws it to him.] Put it on! [Takes off his coat and throws it to Dollerclutch.] Put it on! [He gathers up Dollerclutch’s clothes.] Now sit down. [Dollerclutch goes for stool.] No, no, on the ground! Take hold of your toes! Now sit there till I come back. [Exit L. 2 E.]
Dol. [Looking around.] This is the toughest scrape I was ever in. The camp has been surprised by the rebels. They are all captured. Oh, Anastasia, I’m done for!
Enter Henry, R. 4 E., followed by Coriolanus. Adolphus re-enters, L. 2 E., in his regular uniform.