A practical directory for young Christian females

by Harvey Newcomb

Charity, however, is not to be understood in the popular sense of almsgiving. It is the same word which is elsewhere rendered love. It means a benevolent disposition of heart—love to God and good will to man, diffused through the whole character and conduct. But the description of charity given by the apostle relates chiefly to its manifestations in our intercourse with our fellow-men. My principal object in this letter will be to apply this description so as to discover negatively what conduct is inconsistent with charity, and positively the effect of charity on the human character.

I. Charity suffereth long. It will endure ill-treatment, and prefer suffering to strife. It will not resent the first encroachments, but patiently bear with injuries as long as they can be borne. If charity reigns in your heart, you will consider how many and aggravated are your offences against God, and yet that his long-suffering bears with your perverseness, and he is daily loading you with benefits; and shall you be impatient of the slightest offences from a fellow worm? Consider also how liable you are to encroach upon the rights of others, and to try their patience by your infirmities. Do not, therefore, be hasty in the indulgence of hard thoughts of others, nor impatient of their faults and infirmities. How much contention and strife might be avoided by a little forbearance! and who is there so perfect as not sometimes to need it to be extended toward himself? The ills of social life are greatly mitigated by the exercise of mutual forbearance; and they find no place under the sweet reign of charity.

II. But charity not only suffereth long, but is kind. "It is benign, bountiful, courteous, and obliging." But why did the apostle couple these two dispositions together? "Charity suffereth long, AND IS KIND." Evidently, because long-suffering without kindness would be unavailing. If you bear with the injuries or supposed offences of another, and yet suffer your mind to be soured, and your kind offices remitted, the wound will corrode and inflame, till it breaks out with tenfold violence. But benignity of temper, and the constant practice of friendly offices and benevolent actions, will disarm ill-nature, and bring the offender to see the folly of his conduct. "A soft answer turneth away wrath; and the kind treatment of an enemy will pour coals of fire on his head." What can be more lovely than a kind and obliging disposition, which delights in occasions and opportunities of contributing to the comfort and happiness of others! This disposition adorns with peculiar grace the female character. Solomon, describing a virtuous woman, says, "In her tongue is the law of kindness." If you cultivate this disposition at all times, and in all places, your presence will add a charm to every circle; you will honor your Master; and your ability to advance his cause will be greatly enhanced. In your efforts to do good, with the law of kindness in your lips, you can penetrate where, without it, you could gain no admittance; and in your expostulations with the impenitent, you can reach the heart, by the exhibition of a kind and tender spirit, where otherwise you would be repulsed like the seven sons of Seeva, who presumptuously attempted, in imitation of Paul, to cast out devils in the name of Jesus. Especially is this disposition requisite in a Sabbath-school teacher. Without it, he can accomplish very little. Children cannot be won without kindness. If, then, you would be successful in this enterprise of love, cultivate a tender regard for the "little lambs," and be kind to them whenever you meet them. Never see a child in trouble without relieving him; or, if you can do no more, show your sympathy for his sufferings by such kind offices as are within your power.

III. Charity envieth not. It is not grieved but gratified to see others more prosperous and wealthy, more intelligent and refined, or more holy. The extension of holiness and happiness is an object of rejoicing to the benevolent mind, without regard to himself.

There are some persons who are always complaining of the rich, and fretting about the aristocratic spirit of those whose rank and station, education or mental endowments, place them in any respect above themselves. This is a sure indication of an envious disposition. There may be, in these respects, some ground of complaint; but place these persons in the situation of those of whom they complain, and where the latter are proud, the former would probably be aristocratic; and where these are aristocratic, those would be tyrannical.

An envious disposition argues, 1. A want of self-respect. If we respect ourselves, we shall not desire the factitious importance arising from wealth so much as to grieve that others have more of it than ourselves; nor shall we be willing to concede so much merit to the possession of wealth as to suspect those who have it of esteeming us the less because we have it not. 2. It argues a want of benevolence. The truly benevolent mind desires the increase of rational enjoyment, and will therefore rejoice in the happiness of others, without respect to his own. 3. It argues a want of magnanimity. The truly great will rejoice in the intellectual and moral elevation of others, as adding so much to the sum of human excellence. But the envious person cannot bear to see any other one elevated above himself. This is the spirit that brought Haman to the gallows, and Satan from the seat of an archangel to the throne of devils. 4. It argues a narrow, selfish spirit—a little and mean mind. The law of God requires us to love our neighbor as ourselves, and reason sanctions the requisition. But, the envious person will hate his neighbor, because he is not permitted to love him less than himself.

If you regard your own happiness, I conjure you to suppress the first motions of this vile and hateful temper; for, while indulged, it will give you no peace. Its envenomed darts will rankle and corrode in your bosom, and poison all your enjoyments. It is a disposition which can never be satisfied so long as there is a superior being in the universe. It is aimed ultimately at the throne of God; and the envious person can never be happy while God reigns. The effects of this disposition upon human character and happiness are strikingly illustrated in the story of Haman, which I commend to your serious attention. Cultivate, then, the habit of being pleased and gratified with the happiness and prosperity of others; and constantly seek the grace of God to enable you to exercise benevolent feelings toward all, but especially those who are elevated in any respect above you.

IV. Charity vaunteth not itself, (or, as in the margin,) is not rash—is not puffed up. "It does not act precipitately, inconsiderately, rashly, thoughtlessly." Some people mistake a rash and heedless spirit for genuine zeal; and this puffs them up with pride and vain-glory, and sets them to railing at their betters in age, experience, or wisdom, because they will not fall into their views and measures. There is scarcely any trait of character more unlovely, especially in a young person, than self-conceit. If the youth who is puffed up with a sense of his own consequence could but see the mingled emotions of pity and disgust which his conduct excites in the bosom of age and wisdom, he would be filled with confusion and shame.

You will hear such persons prating much of independence of mind. They have respect to the opinions of the ancients? Not they! They think for themselves; and form their own opinions without respect to what others have thought, and said, and written. They would scorn to consult a commentary to assist them in determining a difficult passage of Scripture, or the writings of a learned divine, to help them out of a theological difficulty. That would be subjecting their minds to the influence of prejudice, or betraying a want of confidence in their own infallible powers!—which is the last idea they would think of entertaining. The long-cherished opinions of great, and wise, and good men, are disposed of with a sneer. They be influenced by great names? Not they!

You will hear them delivering their opinions, pragmatically, and with strong assurance, on points of great difficulty, which good men of the greatest learning and ability have approached with diffidence; and boldly advancing ideas which they suppose to have originated in the depths of their own recondite minds, which they afterwards learn, with chagrin, are but some old, cast-off, crude theories or speculations, which had been a hundred times advanced, and as many times refuted, before they were born. But the matter appears so plain to them that they cannot imagine how any honest mind can come to any other conclusion. Hence, they are ready to doubt the piety of all who differ with them, if not to assume the office of judge, and charge them with insincerity or hypocrisy. Whereas, in truth, their strong confidence in their opinions arises from having examined the subject partially and superficially, and overlooked the objections and difficulties which readily occur to a well-balanced and discriminating mind.