But every one needs intimate friends; and it is necessary that these should be well chosen. A bad friend may prove your ruin. You should therefore be slow and cautious in the formation of intimacies and friendships. Do not be suddenly taken with any one, and so enter into a hasty friendship; for you may be mistaken, and soon repent of it. There is much force in the old adage, “All is not gold that shines.” A pleasing exterior often conceals a corrupt heart. Before you enter into close intimacies or friendships, study the characters of the persons whom you propose to choose for companions. Watch their behavior and conversation; and if you discover any bad habits indulged, or any thing that indicates a want of principle, let them not become your companions. If you discover that they disregard any of the commandments of God, set them down as unsafe associates. They will not only be sure to lead you astray, but you can place no dependence upon their fidelity. If they will break one of God’s commands, they will another; and you can put no confidence in them. But even where you discover no such thing, ask the opinion of your parents respecting them before you choose them as your friends. Yet, while you are in suspense about the matter, treat them courteously and kindly. But when you have determined to seek their friendship, do not impose your friendship on them against their will. Remember that they have the same right as yourself to the choice of their friends; and they may see some objection to the formation of a friendship with yourself. Be delicate, therefore, in your advances, and give them an opportunity to come half way. A friendship cautiously and slowly formed will be much more likely to last than one that is formed in haste.
But let the number of your intimate and confidential friends be small. It is better to have a few select, choice, and warm friends, than to have a great number, less carefully chosen, whose attachment is less warm and ardent. But you must not refuse to associate at all with the mass of the society where you belong; especially, if you live in the country. You must meet them kindly and courteously, on all occasions where the society in general in which you move is called together. You must not affect exclusiveness, nor confine yourself to the company of your particular friends, at such times. But be careful that you do not expose yourself to evil influences.
You ought not, at present, to form any intimate friendships with the other sex. Such friendships, at your age, are dangerous; and if not productive of any serious present evils, they will probably be subjects of regret when you come to years of maturity; for attachments may be formed that your judgment will then disapprove.
[CHAPTER XXII.]
BAD COMPANY.—MISCHIEVOUSNESS.
There are some boys, who carelessly go any where that they can find amusement, without regard to the character of their company. They not only associate indiscriminately in general society, where they are obliged to go, as at school; but they seek the company of bad boys, or permit themselves to be enticed into it, because it affords them some momentary enjoyment.
A bad boy is one who has a bad disposition, which has never been subdued; or one of corrupt principles and bad habits. A boy with a bad disposition will be rough, quarrelsome, malicious in his temper, fond of mischief, and rude and unmannerly in his general behavior. A boy of corrupt principles is one who will not scruple to break the commands of God, when they stand in the way of his own gratification. He acts from the mere selfish desire of present enjoyment. A boy of bad habits is one who is in the habit of disobeying his parents, breaking the Sabbath, using bad language, lying, stealing, gaming, drinking, or doing wanton mischief. Any of these habits shows a character thoroughly corrupt.
If you go into the company of persons that are sick with the measles, hooping-cough, smallpox, or any contagious disorder, in a short time you will be taken with the same disease. The very atmosphere of the room where they stay is full of contagion, and you will draw it in with your breath. So, likewise, moral diseases are contagious. There is an atmosphere of moral contagion and death surrounding persons of vicious habits. “Evil communications corrupt good manners.” The sight of evil deeds, or the hearing of bad language, hardens the heart, and diminishes the abhorrence of sin, which is felt by those to whom vice is not familiar. If you consent to go into bad company, you will soon find yourself falling into their habits. And if you keep company with bad boys, you will soon have the reputation of being a bad boy yourself.
Bad company will lead you into practices that will end in your ruin and disgrace. If you could read the history of those who have been sent to prison or otherwise punished for their crimes, you would be surprised to find how many of them were led, insensibly, into the evil courses which ended in their ruin, by frequenting bad company. I will give you a single example, which is only one among thousands that might be set before you, to show the dangerous influence of evil companions. There was a boy in Stockport, (England,) who went to the Sabbath school, and was esteemed a very good boy; so that he was appointed a teacher of one of the classes. But about this time his father died; and his mother, being poor, was obliged to send him to work in the factory. There he met with bad boys, who were addicted to evil practices. They gradually led him into their own evil courses, till, at length, he lost all the good impressions he had received in the Sabbath school. He began to drink, and drinking led him to committing petty thefts. He became so dissolute that his mother could do nothing with him. He was turned out of his employment, and obliged to enlist as a soldier. He was sent into Spain. There he indulged his evil courses, and supplied himself with the means of gratifying his evil desires, by plundering the inhabitants. At the close of the war, he returned home. Soon after landing, he and his evil companions began to break into people’s houses and commit robberies. He was detected, tried, and condemned to death, at the age of twenty-one.