I may quote as fairly typical the following observation supplied by a lady who cannot be called inverted: "Like so many other children and girls, I was first taught self-indulgence by a girl at school, and I passed on my knowledge to one or two others, with one of whom I remember once, when we were just 16, spending the night sensually. We were horribly ashamed after, and that was the only time. When I was only 8 there was a girl of 13 who liked to play with my body, and taught me to play with hers, though I rather disliked doing so. We slept together, and this went on at intervals for six months. These things, for the sake of getting enjoyment, and not with any passion, are not uncommon with children, but less common, I think, than people sometimes imagine. I believe I could recall without much difficulty, the number of times such things happened with me. In the case I mentioned when I did for one night feel—or try to excite in myself and my girl-companion of 16—sensual passion, we had as little children slept together a few times and done these things, and meeting after an absence, just at that age, recalled our childish memories, and were carried away by sexual impulse. But I never felt any peculiar affection or passion for her even at the time, nor she for me. We only felt that our sensual nature was strong at the time, and had betrayed us into something we were ashamed of, and, therefore, we avoided letting ourselves sleep too close after that day. I think we disliked each other, and were revolted whenever we thought of that night, feeling that each had degraded the other and herself."
The cases in which the source is mainly central, rather than peripheral, nevertheless merge into the foregoing, with no clear line of demarcation. In such cases a girl forms an ardent attachment for another girl, probably somewhat older than herself, often a schoolfellow, sometimes her schoolmistress, upon whom she will lavish an astonishing amount of affection and devotion. There may or not be any return; usually the return consists of a gracious acceptance of the affectionate services. The girl who expends this wealth of devotion is surcharged with emotion, but she is often unconscious or ignorant of the sexual impulse, and she seeks for no form of sexual satisfaction. Kissing and the privilege of sleeping with the friend are, however, sought, and at such times it often happens that even the comparatively unresponsive friend feels more or less definite sexual emotion (pudendal turgescence, with secretion of mucus and involuntary twitching of the neighboring muscles), though little or no attention may be paid to this phenomenon, and in the common ignorance of girls concerning sex matters it may not be understood. In some cases there is an attempt, either instinctive or intentional, to develop the sexual feeling by close embraces and kissing. This rudimentary kind of homosexual relationship is, I believe, more common among girls than among boys, and for this there are several reasons: (1) a boy more often has some acquaintance with sexual phenomena, and would frequently regard such a relationship as unmanly; (2) the girl has a stronger need of affection and self-devotion to another person than a boy has; (3) she has not, under our existing social conditions which compel young women to hold the opposite sex at arm's length, the same opportunities of finding an outlet for her sexual emotions; while (4) conventional propriety recognizes a considerable degree of physical intimacy between girls, thus at once encouraging and cloaking the manifestations of homosexuality.
The ardent attachments which girls in schools and colleges form to each other and to their teachers constitute a subject which is of considerable psychological interest and of no little practical importance.[[163]] These girlish devotions, on the borderland between friendship and sexual passion, are found in all countries where girls are segregated for educational purposes, and their symptoms are, on the whole, singularly uniform, though they vary in intensity and character to some extent, from time to time and from place to place, sometimes assuming an epidemic form. They have been most carefully studied in Italy, where Obici and Marchesini—an alienist and a psychologist working in conjunction—have analyzed the phenomena with remarkable insight and delicacy and much wealth of illustrative material.[[164]] But exactly the same phenomena are everywhere found in English girls' schools, even of the most modern type, and in some of the large American women's colleges they have sometimes become so acute as to cause much anxiety.[[165]] On the whole, however, it is probable that such manifestations are regarded more indulgently in girls' than in boys' schools, and in view of the fact that the manifestations of affection are normally more pronounced between girls than between boys, this seems reasonable. The head mistress of an English training college writes:—
"My own assumption on such, matters has been that affection does naturally belong to the body as well as the mind, and between two women is naturally and innocently expressed by, caresses. I have never therefore felt that I ought to warn any girl against the physical element in friendship, as such. The test I should probably suggest to them would be the same as one would use for any other relation—was the friendship helping life as a whole, making them keener, kinder, more industrious, etc., or was it hindering it?"
Passionate friendships, of a more or less unconsciously sexual character, are common even outside and beyond school-life. It frequently happens that a period during which a young woman falls in love at a distance with some young man of her acquaintance alternates with periods of intimate attachment to a friend of her own sex. No congenital inversion is usually involved. It generally happens, in the end, either that relationship with a man brings the normal impulse into permanent play, or the steadying of the emotions in the stress of practical life leads to a knowledge of the real nature of such feelings and a consequent distaste for them. In some cases, on the other hand, such relationships, especially when formed after school-life, are fairly permanent. An energetic emotional woman, not usually beautiful, will perhaps be devoted to another who may have found some rather specialized lifework, but who may be very unpractical, and who has probably a very feeble sexual instinct; she is grateful for her friends's devotion, but may not actively reciprocate it. The actual specific sexual phenomena generated in such cases vary very greatly. The emotion may be latent or unconscious; it may be all on one side; it is often more or less recognized and shared. Such cases are on the borderland of true sexual inversion, but they cannot be included within its region. Sex in these relationships is scarcely the essential and fundamental element; it is more or less subordinate and parasitic. There is often a semblance of a sex-relationship from the marked divergence of the friends in physical and psychic qualities, and the nervous development of one or both the friends is sometimes slightly abnormal. We have to regard such relationships as hypertrophied friendships, the hypertrophy being due to unemployed sexual instinct.
The following narrative is written by a lady who holds a responsible educational position: "A friend of mine, two or three years older than myself (I am 31), and living in the same house with me, has been passing through a very unhappy time. Long nervous strain connected with this has made her sleep badly, and apt to wake in terrible depression about 3 o'clock in the morning. In the early days of our friendship, about eight months ago, she occasionally at these times took refuge with me. After a while I insisted on her consulting a doctor, who advised her, amongst other things, not to sleep alone. Thenceforth for two or three months I induced her to share my room. After a week or two she generally shared my bed for a time at the beginning of the night, as it seemed to help her to sleep.
"Before this, about the second or third time that she came to me in the early morning, I had been surprised and a little frightened to find how pleasant it was to me to have her, and how reluctant I was that she should go away. When we began regularly to sleep in the same room, the physical part of our affection grew rapidly very strong. It is natural for me generally to caress my friends, but I soon could not be alone in a room with this one without wanting to have my arms round her. It would have been intolerable to me to live with her without being able to touch her. We did not discuss it, but it was evident that the desire was even stronger in her than in me.
"For some time it satisfied us fully to be in bed together. One night, however, when she had had a cruelly trying day and I wanted to find all ways of comforting her, I bared by breast for her to lie on. Afterward it was clear that neither of us could be satisfied without this. She groped for it like a child, and it excited me much more to feel that than to uncover my breast and arms altogether at once.
"Much of this excitement was sexually localized, and I was haunted in the daytime by images of holding this woman in my arms. I noticed also that my inclination to caress my other women friends was not diminished, but increased. All this disturbed me a good deal. The homosexual practices of which I had read lately struck me as merely nasty; I could not imagines myself tempted to them;—at the same time the whole matter was new to me, for I had never wanted anyone even to share my bed before; I had read that sex instinct was mysterious and unexpected, and I felt that I did not know what might come next.
"I knew only one elder person whom (for wide-mindedness, gentleness, and saintliness) I could bear to consult; and to this person, a middle-aged man, I wrote for advice. He replied by a long letter of the most tender warning. I had better not weaken my influence with my friend, he wrote, by going back suddenly or without her consent, but I was to be very wary of going further; there was fire about. I tried to put this into practice by restraining myself constantly in our intercourse, by refraining from caressing her, for instance, when I wanted to caress her and knew that she wanted it. The only result seemed to be that the desire was more tormenting and constant than ever.