"I had kept up a correspondence with No. 1 all this time, but we had made a compact that whatever each did until we met again was not to count, and I knew that she had had at least one liaison since our parting, and was in entire ignorance of the state of her feelings toward me. Therefore, while trying to arrange a meeting with her, I took the first thing that chance threw in my way, thinking a bird in the hand better than the off chance of a better one in the bush. This was No. 4, with whom I spent three days at the seaside after having first had coitus with her in my own home while she was in the monthly state. Immediately on parting from her I came home to receive No. 1. The first time we were alone she kissed me, and this was followed by mutual confessions and coitus, though at first she said my affair was too recent. I agreed not to have connection again with No. 4, and kept to this until when staying in the same house again with her I was tempted beyond my powers; and I may add that she gave me no assistance in keeping this promise, of which she was fully cognizant. I at once wrote and confessed to No. 1, and she very naturally would have nothing more to do with me. But I managed to reconcile her, and we afterward lived together for three days in the country, as well as in London and in her own house. Meanwhile No. 5 had been making advances to me which I could not well refuse, being a very old friend. Nos. 4 and 5 were on one occasion staying together at my house, just after I had been faithless to No. 1 with No. 4. I could not very well sleep with them both, so at the earnest entreaty of No. 4 I went to her room first, told her my reasons for not having connection with her, left her in tears, and then went and slept with No. 5. This is the only transaction I have ever concealed from No. 1; but No. 5 knows my whole story and accepts the situation of being only second so long as I give her satisfaction whenever possible. About this time I again met No. 3 and kissed and masturbated her in a cab, but she would not allow me to go home with her. At the bidding of No. 1 I now broke entirely with No. 4, to the great grief and astonishment of my sister, whose friend she was. Shortly after this I again returned to India, where I quarreled hopelessly with No. 1, and I don't know to this day what my fault was, except that she had got tired of me. Her influence over me is, however, too great to be so easily broken, and I would return to her tomorrow if she moved a finger in reconciliation. During the following hot weather I slowly but surely, albeit quite unconsciously, obtained an influence over No. 6, and it ended by her falling desperately in love with me and allowing me to do what I liked. I did not love her, and told her about No. 1, whose image always remained in the back of my vision, whatever I was doing. She also accepted the situation, and I don't think has any grievance against me. For my part I have nothing but thanks and gratitude and as much love as I am capable of to give her, and all the other women with whom I have had any sexual relations. The following is a short account of the above women:—
"No. 1. Had coitus before marriage, for love and with full knowledge of the nature of the act. Agreement with her husband not to have coitus rigidly adhered to by both. Has had connection with five other men since marriage. Very passionate, but faddy and particular. Slow at producing orgasm. Likes being in bed naked, and liked me once for having kissed her mons veneris. Thin, with undeveloped breasts. Brilliant, good-looking. Artistic and highly intellectual. Never masturbated, and did not know of homosexuality among women; very sensitive to touch on the pudenda.
"No. 2. Has had sexual relations, but never coitus, with many men. Mutually masturbated with one man. Masturbated herself frequently, and took a long time to produce orgasm, even with cunnilingus, which delighted her immensely. After having it performed, she would stoop down and passionately kiss my lips. Fond of prolonged kisses, during which the tongue played a prominent part. Tall and fully developed, but no looks. Clever, masculine brain, and strong physically. Skillfully concealed her passionate nature, which, however, was long in developing and was long kept in check by maidenly modesty.
"No. 3. Innocent before marriage, and hated her fiancé even to touch her, which feeling still persists. Has had liaisons with many men, and several miscarriages, one legitimate, others illegitimate, and one illegitimate child. Does not masturbate herself, but readily yields to its seduction when performed by others. The most passionate woman I have ever met. Good, typical, womanly figure, but thin and weak. Not much looks, but very fascinating to men. Clever and intellectual.
"No. 4. Coitus only with her husband before myself. Not very passionate. I know nothing about masturbation or homosexuality in her case. Very broad hips, large breasts, and well-developed nates. Deserted by her husband. No children. Rather foolish and weak-minded. Penetration difficult owing to long labia majora.
"No. 5. Knows all about homosexuality of both sexes and wants to know more about everything. Probably masturbates. Several children. In love with her husband at first, but now tired of him and took to other men for variety and because her husband had ceased to give her sexual pleasure. Very passionate; has slow orgasm; likes nakedness and contact of body. Very large vagina. Broad hips and full breasts. Intellectual, but not so by nature. Artistic and very musical.
"No. 6. Absolutely innocent before marriage. Was practically raped by her husband on her marriage night. This disgusted her with the whole performance, and she could not bear her husband's caresses. During pregnancy she was frightened because she did not know what was going to happen, i.e., how the child was going to be born; and no one enlightened her,—doctor, nurse, or mother. Did not know the meaning of the words sexual feeling, and never thought about sexual matters at all until marriage. I roused her passion, put things in their true light, made her have an orgasm, and told her what it meant. The orgasms at first made her cry and nearly faint, and she thereafter became intensely passionate. Very excited at cunnilingus, which I practised on her more than once. She confessed that the orgasm was stronger and more complete during coitus than during masturbation, which relieved my mind. She volunteered to strip naked and has but little shyness with me. Cannot bear her husband yet. She admits that she was only half a woman before she knew me, but now regrets her marriage. Short, thin, and slight, with narrow hips and no breasts. Quick woman's wit, but not intellectual.
"Of the prostitutes I have known, perhaps 60 in number, the Japanese easily take the palm. They are scrupulously clean, have charming manners and beautiful bodies, and take an intelligent interest in the proceedings. Also they are not always thinking about the money. Perhaps the Kashmiris come next, though the Chinese run them very close. Some of the more expensive London women are bearable, but they are such harlots! The white women in the East are insupportable, and small wonder, for they consist of the dregs of the European and American markets. My list comprises English, French, German, Italian, Spanish-American, American, Bengali, Punjabi, Kashmiri, Kaffir, Singhalese, Tamil, Burmese, Malay, Japanese, Chinese, Greek, and Pole.
"I naturally prefer to satisfy myself with a woman, a friend and a lady of my own class; but in the absence of the best I gladly take the next best available, down the scale from a lady for whom I do not care to prostitutes of all classes and colors, men, boys, animals, melons, and masturbation. I would as cheerfully have connection with my sister, or any other female relative. I have frequent erotic dreams about the most extraordinary subjects—male and female relations, casual acquaintances of both sexes, and animals. When I have got an intrigue in hand with a woman, I have no wish to masturbate, and often restrain myself when I know that I am going to have access before long to prostitutes. After coitus it takes a long time before I am ready for the next, sometimes two hours; and the first is always very quick, nearly always too quick for the woman. With a strange woman I have difficulty in maintaining erection at the instant of penetration, and this has often given me trouble.
"I know that most women like, and few dislike, being touched by me. My favorite colors are green and red, and I can whistle quite well.