"Deserved it," she replied, "and how do I deserve it? When first the truth became known to me in vision after vision of my past, I thought I should have died of shame and sorrow. Before that I believed that I was more or less worthy of Alan's love, but then it seemed impossible."
She buried her face in her hands.
"Hush!" Sydney said. "Let us speak of brighter things. No spirit can look upon the past without wonder and shame. Let us thank God that when its lessons are over, these things shall be wiped out and all things become new."
"Should you mind," I said, addressing Vera, "letting me know something of your life since we last met?"
"There is not much," she replied, "that I may tell, but I will do my best. After leaving you we travelled together, seeing many places of interest on the way; for you must remember that it was impossible for me to quit the body, and Alan would not leave me. At length we came to the plateau of which you have already heard, and I was admitted through the secret passage to the enclosure. On arriving there I was taken alone into the beautiful temple and dedicated to the service of the Almighty Father. For eight years I lived with the priestess, who educated me in the knowledge which comes to us through the spiritual sense. But beside what she taught me I saw Alan often and learned many things from him. These times were the most delightful, for though always happy, a new strange joy filled my heart whenever I was brought into his presence. I felt somehow that I belonged to him, and when he left there was a void which nothing else could fill.
"Time passed very quickly, there was so much to do. I was trained to perfect my body as well as my spirit, and to bring every faculty into obedience to my will. At last I was admitted as priestess to the temple, and then for the first time my spirit was allowed to go free, and to commune with the other spirits which surround us. But though increasing day by day in power, I knew as yet nothing of the past. For some time I was not allowed to go forth alone, but one day it was decided that I should have no companion, but go whither I would and learn whatsoever I desired. And I desired greatly to know of my past, and what was the mysterious bond which bound me to the man I love. Then was my history revealed. And it came to pass that after the visions, so great was my humiliation, so fearful did it seem to go back and face one who had thus loved me and whom I had so grievously wronged, that my soul, dreading to return to the body, waited: still longing for the sight of the beloved, while ashamed to meet him. Then a spirit, more beautiful than any I had yet seen, came near to me, and its thought passed to me in this wise:
"'Dost thou not know, frail spirit, who hath been permitted to visit the unseen world even though thy body is still on earth, that if thou tarriest here much longer, the earthly form will perish, and it will be impossible for thee to finish thy work on earth save in some future state?'
"And I answered, 'It is even so, yet dare I not return and meet one who has been deeply wronged by me in the past.'
"Then the spirit spoke again. 'Yet he whom thou hast wronged hath borne with thee all these many years, and hath not grown weary of his love. Why shouldest thou fear even now when the past is over? Wouldest thou then desire once more to be born again and bring to him even this further pain? Hath he not waited long for thee in patience, and wilt thou at the moment of fulfilment cause him the needless suffering of hope delayed? Forget thyself, child of earth, and think only of the sorrow that such an action would cause. What is thy humiliation? Tarry not, but walk bravely in the path of duty.'
"Then seeing that selfishness was still holding me back, I came in haste to the temple. It was night, and I knew that days had passed by since my spirit had left its body entranced. Might it not even now be too late to return? I looked down. The light of the moon fell softly through the trellis-work of the arches. A delicate strain of music passed with me as I moved, but from below only the soft plash of the fountain disturbed the silence of earth. I saw the body my spirit had so long forsaken still reclining upon the cushions which had been laid over the mosaic floor. Was I too late? Had the trance stage passed on to death?