"My animal nature got the upper hand, and I became, for the time being, cruel. My very passion, as is often the case under such conditions, was an incentive rather than a check, to that which, in the language of hypocrisy, is termed 'religious anger,' but which is often little better than the counter thrust of a wounded heart. I will, I thought, use my power against this girl, and make her see herself even as she is.
"'Vera,' I began, 'I have got your father's permission to see you again before the week is over. I find it impossible to keep away from you, dearest, any longer. I want to hear from your lips once more that you love me, and that you will be my wife.'
"'Why, of course I love you, dear,' she said, a look of relief coming into her face as she came forward, evidently expecting that I should take her in my arms and kiss her.
"I took both her hands in mine, and looked into the sweet face before me. Was it possible that I might have been mistaken? That I was a victim of delusion? As I stooped and kissed her forehead, I said--
"'Have you missed me much, dear? And did you find the hours hang heavily?'
"'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'it has seemed such a long, long time. But after all, you see, we have met once already. Have you quite got over your fainting fit? Do you know that you don't look at all well. When I came in I was quite afraid something had happened, you seemed so queer.'
"'What did you fancy could have happened?' I asked. 'Did you suppose that in this short time I had fallen in love with some one else, and had come to break the news to you? Now, tell me, are you jealous? Let us hope not, because you know it would be unpleasant to have a jealous wife. Should you be very angry if you knew that I had sometimes kissed other girls?'
"'How can you be so horrid!' she answered, looking troubled and perplexed. 'But you are only joking. Why, if you ever did such a thing, I would never! never! never! speak to you again.'
"'Why?' I questioned. 'Do you think there is much harm in a simple kiss? Do you fancy that men only kiss one woman in their lives?' I stopped abruptly.
"She stood staring at me with a frightened look in her eyes, but whilst I was watching she turned away; then her thoughts came quickly. 'Just what he said about women--after all I did not kiss him. And how could I help his kissing me? I wonder whether Alan knows any thing--Can he have guessed? No, it is absurd! But somehow he frightens me, especially when he looks in that queer way.'