Upon the whole, my emissaries and I had, at that time, the most absolute and unprecedented sway. The subject felt all the weight of my despotic oppression, and the lash of my scourge. Frankness in scientific debate, cordiality in mutual communication, and hilarity in company, entirely disappeared. My spies were dreaded every where. Upright magistrates, who pronounced sentence according to the dictates of right and reason, were dismissed; those of the clergy, who ventured to preach common sense, lost their places, and were banished the country; the most important trials were superseded, because the verdicts were expected to fall out against me and my friends. Several of the public offices I caused to be given to my creatures; I forged warrants of arrest, and orders of the cabinet; rewarded spies, informers, and runners, with large sums of money and honourable offices; nay, I had, without any apparent reason, a young lady arrested, merely because I dreaded that her beauty would supplant me. In a word, whatever did not pass through my hands, or was not subservient to my schemes, was sure to be crushed. A certain man in office, who repeatedly had embezzled the public money, sued for my protection; I had him created a nobleman, and chief judge of the Criminal Court. But, in return for this good office, he was, from gratitude, bound to give his verdict in every cause that concerned either me or my friends, as I would have it. He did indeed once attempt to recede from it, and to have it his own way, in the affair with Miss Belderbush; this was the name of the young lady, just before mentioned; but I had influence enough to punish him for his temerity; he was dismissed, and banished the kingdom. This was likewise the lot of the Countess D——, and the Privy Counsellor G——, against whom a suspicion of being concerned in a scheme of poisoning was urged, and who were compelled to leave the P—— dominions. Such was at that time the power of the trumpeter’s daughter, whose favour, thirty years back, might be purchased for a dollar.
Rietz, my late husband, perfectly agreed with me in this point. This man, who from a common labouring gardener, had risen to the office of a Privy Chamberlain, had made it his study, and completely acquired, the art of bending and twisting his lord and master to whatever shape and form I wished, and of imbuing him with the most erroneous notions concerning his subjects. He generally used to keep a pack of large mastiffs, that would frighten away every unwelcome suppliant; and if ever any one had the audacity of attempting to approach the K—g, he was sure to be treated with a sound caning, and a few blows in his face, and might think himself well off with the loss of half a dozen of his teeth. As an instance of this, a poor young fellow, the only son of a shoemaker, who had attempted to present a petition in behalf of his distressed parents, was, by Mr. Rietz himself, well threshed, then sent to the watch-house, and, by way of a lasting remembrance of his temerity, forced as a soldier into a stationary regiment. Of all this the King knew nothing, for his good and tender heart prompted him to do justice and grant protection to the very meanest of his subjects; he verily believed that his people were all happy and content; and had he the least idea of any such cruel outrage, the perpetrator would have been punished in the severest manner, even had it been my darling Rietz himself. But his dogs were trained to know every avenue, so that an access to the King was rendered altogether inaccessible. He also knew how to avail himself of the influence he had over the King, and by the proper management of this very influence a number of petitions and complaints were suppressed, and condemned to the flames and silence, many an order of the cabinet was deceitfully obtained, and the best places under government were given to our party. This indeed was not the means to inspire the people with love for their Sovereign, but what was that to us? Provided the monarch could be made to believe that all were happy and satisfied, and that there was no reason for complaint, all was well enough; nay, the people themselves facilitated our views, and strengthened the King in his good creed. On many public occasions, they would hail their prince with loud applause and acclamation. God save the King was sung in German at the theatres and concerts, and the best poets of the nation exhausted all their Parnassian fire to produce a good parody of this favourite popular song of the people of England. Every pamphlet, every newspaper, every production of the press, bore testimony to the happiness of the people; in every one of them the nation was represented as laying their allegiance and love at the foot of the throne, ready to spend their last shilling, and shed the last drop of their blood, in his support. Thus this easy good-natured prince was led to believe that every thing was right, and that he lived in the heart of his subjects, which he certainly did, notwithstanding our oppression and injustice.
It must be confessed, that good master Rietz carried his insolence rather too far. The wealth which, through just and unjust means, had flowed into his coffers had inflated him with pride and vanity; he became presumptive, brutal, and rough; he therefore thought he might bear down every thing before him by main force. The tricks, which he played behind his master’s back, deprived the King of a share of the affections of his people; distress, fear, and smothered resentment, had got possession of every heart. Very often the blood of the desperate wretch would flow from this sole consideration, that nothing was to be done with the K—g, let the cause be ever so just. This indeed was too hard. I have, however, pretty well succeeded in mortifying his presumption. This proud ci-devant gardener’s boy once took it into his head to fall in love with Madam B——s. He had even gone so far as to project a marriage with her, when at once a warrant was issued from the cabinet, by virtue of which the lady was removed from the Berlin stage, and an end was put to the farce. His mind was tortured with mortification and shame, and he found himself reluctantly obliged to see his fair one, without friend or protector, cast on the wide world. But the wretch deceived me after all, and cringed and flattered till I winked at his presumption, and let him bear away his prize.
As the K—g evinced a great predilection for every thing supernatural, a predilection which he had derived from his intercourse with the Rosicrusians, and from all the magic tricks they had played off before him, I was highly pleased at the arrival of the Chevalier Pinetti de Mercy. This man sought my protection, and I was very willing to grant it. Furnished with numberless recommendations, and dressed out, like a nobleman, with laced and embroidered clothes, watches, and rings, set with valuable brilliants, his access to the king was not very difficult. This fellow in fact was nothing but a charlatan, but he was well skilled in the art of deception, so that I saw his mountebankism might be of use to me and my party. His tricks with cards consisted in nothing but legerdemain, and I placed no value on them; on the other hand, his physical deceptions, as he pleased to term them, were the more entertaining. The K—g was highly pleased with his physical deceptions, made him a present of five thousand dollars for the erection of a theatre, and gave him the title of Professor of Physic of the Court, with a pension of six hundred dollars a year. This prodigality of course rouzed the envy of the philosophers of Berlin, and, among others, one Professor Kofmann ventured to publish a treatise on Pinetti’s work, in which he called his paltry tricks the ne plus ultra of natural philosophy. The Professor, in this pamphlet, endeavoured to prove, that every thing was pretty clear and natural, and that the famous Pinetti was neither more nor less than a common legerdemain conjuror. The chevalier was very much displeased at this publication, and wrote the Professor word, that, if he did not immediately suppress his work, and apologize for the epithets of conjuror and mountebank, he, Mr. Pinetti, would give the Professor an answer à l’Italiana. Pinetti was in right earnest, and preferred his complaints against Kofmann to the K—g. The Professor justified himself by transmitting to his Majesty a copy of the work, and assuring him, that his only motive for writing it was to give a hint to the students of the military school not to suffer themselves to be deceived by appearances. The K—g smiled, and Kofmann got off without any farther molestation. This work has nevertheless done poor Pinetti a great deal of injury. He wrote to me from St. Petersburg: “Dear Countess, It is enough to make a man run crazy, to see how my physical experiments have been hissed and hooted at Konigsberg; on my first performance, the greatest number of my spectators had the pamphlet of that meddling Professor Kofmann in their hands, and laughed and scoffed at me; and after the third exhibition I was compelled to close my theatre, or exhibit to empty benches. Here the patriarch of Jacobinism, that infernal Kant, lives and plays his tricks; here is the very den of the red-capped Jacobin gang, and his Majesty would do well, for the benefit of his own dominions, to destroy this nest of wasps and vipers, and to prohibit Kant, who besides is an old man, all manner of reading and writing. Ah! with what extacy all flocked at Berlin to the divine Pinetti! the high and the low, the wealthy and the great, were charmed, whenever Pinetti deigned to address them. Here in St. Petersburg things go on better, &c.”
At this time I had made a second journey to Italy, and brought to Berlin the celebrated Vizano and her husband. I could not possibly have procured the K—g a greater pleasure than the opportunity of seeing and admiring those two famous dancers. As Vizano had left the stage at Vienna on account of his being so violently in love with her, I thought I could keep her at Berlin; but these capering wretches had no other view but to make money, and would on no account enter into my projects. I therefore had a number of pupils and figuranti regularly trained up, who alternately performed on my little private theatre, which answered my purposes very well. To these means I then had recourse; for, as I began to be aware that my charms were on the decline, and incapable of any longer rivetting the fetters of my lover; and, as he besides was fond of variety, I invented a thousand novelties, and called forth all my ingenuity to retain him in my net.
To this point I succeeded so completely, that the K—g never undertook a step in his amours without consulting me. Besides, I had by that time acquired a perfect knowledge of the mysteries in which I had been initiated during my stay in France and Italy, and for which I had paid very considerable sums. This consisted in the mixture of certain narcotic ingredients, which I administered to the K—g in his drink, and which had the effect of weakening his nerves and of troubling his imagination. By these means I obtained a constant sway over him, and this very artificial weakness proved the rod with which I chastised and governed him. I had moreover become a great proficient in the Machiavelian principles, and occasionally knew how to make use of them to my advantage. The rack, the whip, and banishment, were lucky discoveries, and stood in the order of the day; and, however humane the K—g might be, however averse from severity, except in cases of convicted guilt, I, nevertheless, had through artifice and cunning so far succeeded, that every one trembled at the thoughts of my unlimited power, and yet blamed the K—g for its effects. Thus he was often, but as often unjustly, called a tyrant; for he was in fact the most just, the most humane, of princes. It was his weakness, of which I availed myself, that put him in this odious light, and my manner of treating the people caused them to murmur and to complain. I would intercept letters, and by the aid of my helpmates had new ones forged; I likewise had orders of the cabinet distributed. The Courts of Justice, on my request, were forced to deliver up original deeds and papers, which I then arbitrarily committed to the flames. Through my Machiavelian arts, I obtained the sums that were requisite for the expences of my household, my buildings, and travels. In short, every thing was at my command. This was the rage of the trumpeter’s daughter.
Yet my pride was not satisfied. It is obvious, that the Court, the nobility, and all the great people in the kingdom, must hate me, though in public they would shew me every mark of respect; I knew this, and would be revenged. There happened to be a great fête at Court, at which none but the Royal Family and the most distinguished persons among the nobility were to appear; that was to be the scene of my vengeance. I prevailed upon the K—g to be permitted to appear at Court as Countess of Lichtenau. General —— ushered me in; I was dressed in a royal robe, showered all over with diamonds and precious stones. The Royal Family turned their backs upon me, and I was noticed by none but the courtiers. I was vexed, and complained to the K—g. “Il faut faire bonne mine à mauvais jeu,” said he, and gently tapped my cheeks.
On the next morning my steward brought me word, that all my fine furniture at my seat at Charlottenberg had been broken to pieces, the beds ripped open, and the costly feathers of down strewed all over the rooms. I suspected immediately who was the perpetrator, and brought my complaints before the K—g, who made up threefold for the loss I had sustained.
During my stay at Franckfort, I formed an acquaintance with the Marquis Mousons, whom the revolution had compelled to leave France. He was both a shrewd and a handsome man, almost as cunning and as artful as Pinetti. At my request he was made reader to the K—g; he was a perfect master of the art of diverting the monarch’s ennui and ill temper through his wit and humour, and through that frivolity which has fallen particularly to the lot of the French. He courted my affections, but with such respect and submission as were a thousand times more flattering to me than the tenderest caresses of the most enamoured fop. He gradually gained my confidence, and, at last, a certain intimacy took place between us, which put me in the possession of many a valuable secret. He completed me in the sublime politics of Machiavel, and we formed and established a society, to which none but such were admitted as had been rigorously tried. The principle members were B——, W——, H——, H——, O——, B——, A——, G——, P—— du B——, R——; myself and Mousons were permanent presidents.
Our orders were executed by my brother and a relation of mine, one Kunassius, a huntsman, and the watchman of our assembly.