A woman's pity for a man who loves her against her will may be akin to love; but a man's pity for a woman who loves him without his permission is a twin brother to boredom.
Marriage is the miracle which affords a woman a chance to gratify her vanity, pacify her family, mortify her rivals, and electrify her friends, all at the same time. Marriage is sweet!
Love is what incites the caveman to drag a woman around by the hair and makes the civilized man permit a woman to drag him around by the nose.
The heart of a woman is a secret sanctuary where she is constantly burning incense and candles before a succession of idols of clay.
Nowadays, a man's faith in women and heaven seems to disappear with his milk-teeth and to reappear again with his false teeth.
To most men "repentance" is merely the interval between the headache and the next temptation.
Most bachelors regard the "flower of love" as a species of poison ivy.
Even Satan could find a woman to call him "Dearie," if he would simply tell her that all he needed was "a beautiful woman's uplifting influence."
A man may be guilty of stealing a girl's heart, but he always feels hurt and indignant if she refuses to take it back again after he has finished with it.
Woman's love—a mirror in which a man beholds himself glorified, magnified and deified.