The man who is fondly looking for a perfect angel almost invariably ends by marrying some little devil who knows how to persuade him that her horns are merely the signs of a budding halo.
Woman is to most men what "heart-failure" is to the doctors—something that it is always convenient to blame any old thing on.
"The mind has a thousand eyes—the heart but one!"—and that usually goes fast asleep, after marriage.
Philosophy is the only kind of "sweetening" with which to make life palatable.
Estimated from a wife's experience, the average man spends fully one-quarter of his life in looking for his shoes.
An "idealist" is a man who is content to worship a woman from afar—and let some gross, unselfish materialist marry her and support her.
Changing husbands is about as satisfactory as changing a bundle from one hand to the other; it gives you only temporary relief.
France may claim the happiest marriages in the world, but the happiest divorces in the world are "made in America."
No doubt, even Solomon told each of his 700 wives that he had merely thought he loved the others, but that she was the only girl he "ever really cared for" in just that way.
Love is what makes a man appear blissfully happy, when a woman is mussing up the precious wisp of hair across his bald spot.