For one man’s chin is as rough as another’s, and one man’s lies are as smooth as another’s.
One man’s razor is as sacred as another’s, and one man’s excuses are as old as another’s.
One man roareth, like unto another, when he is hungry.
One man growleth, like unto another, when he is fed.
One man groaneth, like unto another, when he hath over-eaten.
One man looketh as uncanny as another without a collar, and as weird as another without a shave.
One man streweth his cigar ashes upon the carpet, and leaveth his stubs in the pin-tray, even as another.
One man burieth himself in the pillows in the morning, and in the newspapers in the evening, and refuseth to be torn therefrom—even as another.
One man offereth up the morning and evening growl, and celebrateth the Sunday forenoon grouch as regularly as another.
Why, then, wilt thou continue to hearken unto their promises? For, before marriage, all men are promising; but matrimony is a chemical which transmuteth each and every one of them from a lover into a critic, from an admirer into a scoffer, from an adorer into a judge, and from a slave into a sultan.