CHAPTER ONE
Behold, my Daughter, I have parted from mine Appendix and my conscience is clear! Therefore do I fear but three things in all the world:
And the first of these is a mouse.
And the second is embonpoint.
But the third is a Trained Nurse!
For I have watched her at her work.
And, I charge thee, in the flutter of her apron there lurketh more danger than in the whole chorus of a comic opera. For a chorus girl practiseth her wiles upon strong men, but she seeketh him only that is stricken and at her mercy.
Yea, when he is down-and-out she getteth in her fine work.
Upon her head she weareth a cute cap, which glorifieth her as a halo in his sight. She walketh upon heels of velvet and cooeth unto him in a voice of silver.