Go to! Think no man in love while he flattereth thee and extolleth all thy ways; but, when he beginneth to moralise and to criticise thy hats, then mayest thou plan thy trousseau.
When he saveth thy life it may be for chivalry’s sake; but when he carryeth an umbrella to please thee it is for love’s sake.
Be not set up when a man giveth thee the key to his heart, for, peradventure, upon the following day, he may change the lock!
Then, how shall a woman understand a man, since they are all cut upon the bias!
Verily, verily, by turning him around, my Daughter, and reading him backward, even as a Chinese laundry ticket!
CHAPTER TWO
How long, oh, ye Easy Ones, shall men continue to call ye “kitten” when they are sentimental and “cat” when they wax cynical?
Verily, verily, I say unto thee, the ways of a man are the ways of Grimalkin; for doth not a cat, and likewise a man, prize his dignity above all things else in the heavens above, or in the earth beneath, or in the subways under the earth?
Moreover, doth not a cat, and likewise a man, seek out all the soft places upon the face of the earth, and all the most comfortable spots within the house, and all the easy chairs of the office?