“Thou art so sensible. Yea, I pray thee, continue to wear a comfortable collar always; for why shalt thou suffer for style’s sake? Lo, thy beard and thy mustache, they are so characteristic; and in a soft hat thou hast real personality!”
But in her heart she muttereth:
“Go to! When I have him safe, then shall I entice him to put on a high collar, even unto four inches; and the shaving of his face will require but two weeks! Yea, and that quaint top-piece shall he exchange for a derby within the first month. For I know just what he needeth!”
Verily, verily, even in the hour of their courtship, do they prepare for war!
Even while she poureth his wine, doth she determine that he shall become a teetotaler! Even while he passeth her the sweetmeats doth he plan to put her on a diet, ’ere she acquire embonpoint.
As enemies before the battle, do they exchange civilities, saying “How congenial we are!”
For every woman thinketh to make a man over after a pattern, and every man thinketh to remodel a woman according to a stock ideal.
Yea, after the honeymoon each seeketh to trim the other down and to add all the modern improvements.
Then give them the fruit of their labors, which is a mutual shock!