From the summer widower, that seeketh to return unto flirtation by a by-path, oh, hide me! For lo, I am not a consolation prize. Neither am I a grafter, coveting other women’s troubles.
From all gossip, and freckles, and tan, and sand-in-the-shoes; from the patronizing bride, and the youth that playeth ragtime; from the bathing suit that shrinketh, and the nose that peeleth; from mosquitoes, and cows and red ants; from hen parties, and springless straw rides, and manless dances, oh, deliver me!
Feed me with bon-bons and stay me with novels!
Lead me beside the full streams, where the fish are plentiful and the fishing worthy of the fishermaiden; that I may, peradventure, find, one eligible, who shall rescue me from the Land of Innocuous Desuetude, and usher me into the Kingdom of Matrimony!
CHAPTER FOUR
The Song of The Debutante which the Wise Virgin chanteth in her heart:
Oh, Providence in thy mercy, I beseech Thee, grant me these three:
A level head, a soft tongue, and a sense of humor! And the greatest of these is a sense of humor.
Lo, I do not ask for wealth, neither for beauty, nor for love; for, having a level head, and a soft tongue, all these things shall be added unto me.