I shall remember thy pipe, thy razor, and thy morning newspaper, to keep them holy.
Thy Desk shall be sacred from mine hands. Thou shalt have one hook within the closet.
I shall be a mother unto thee; yet shall I permit thee to treat me as a babe, that thou mayest rest under thy favorite delusion. Whosoever speaketh against thee I shall rend her with my finger nails and my sarcasm.
I shall learn to be happy without thee in order that I may be happy with thee, when thou chancest to be at home.
Thou shalt go thy ways untroubled; for I shall not be thy jailer but thy jollier.
Verily, verily, I shall be all things unto thee; even a wife, an angel, a kitten, a cook, a chum, and a siren.
Yea, I shall be thine whole harem!
SELAH.
Transcriber’s Notes
Simple typographical errors were corrected. Punctuation and spelling were made consistent when a predominant preference was found in this book; otherwise they were not changed.