BOATMAN.—Then, I guess, you've lost all your life.
Ere the sentence was finished, the boat upset; the sturdy rower struggled manfully, and reached the shore in safety. On looking round, nought was to be seen of the philosopher save his hat, floating down to New Orleans. The boatman sat down on the bank, reflecting on the fate of the philosopher; and, as the beaver disappeared in the bend of the river, he rose up and gave vent to his reflections in the following terms: "I guess that gentleman was never taught much of the useful; learning is a good thing in its place, but I guess swimming is the thing on the Mississippi, fix it how you will."
As I have alluded to that rara avis in the United States, a totally uneducated man, I may as well give an amusing specimen of the production of another Western, whose studies were evidently in their infancy. It is a certificate of marriage, and runs thus:—
"State of Illenois Peoria County ss
"To all the world Greeting. Know ye that John Smith and Peggy Myres is
hereby certified to go together and do as old folks does, anywhere
inside coperas precinct, and when my commission comes I am to marry em
good, and date em back to kivver accidents.
"O---- M---- R---- [ss]
"Justice of the Peace."