Brite and Fair

by Henry A. Shute

it is a very long story and i dont beleeve i can write it out all in one evining becaus sumtimes my head goes round like a button on a barn door so father sed.

wel the morning of the picnic i got up erly and washed out my boat and had it at the worf when the peeple come down. mother sed she dident want me to go unless i took sumthing for them to eat so she put me up a half dozen donuts and sum sanwiches and sum apple tirnovers and a little bottel of pickels. well i thougt they wood have enuf for all of the people without that and so i et it all while i was washing out the boat. i gnew i was a going to have a hard days wirk and i wanted to be ready and after i had hid the basket and had the boat reddy the peeple began to come down to the worf. they had baskets and pales and paper boxes and ice creem freesers and bottels and plaits and goblets and mugs and cups and brown paper packages of coffy that smeled awful good and made me hungry again althoug i had et a hole basket full.

well the minister was there with a long taled coat and a white neck ty and decon William Henry Johnson and decon Ambrose Peevy and Aunt Hannar Peevy and Widow Sally Mackintire and lots of them and evrybody was talking and laffing and stepping on things they hadent aught to step on and puting things in rong places and loosing things jest like old peeple always do.

the ferst thing they done was to pile on to the worf so many that the worf sunk down and the water come over it and wet most of there feet and they al screached and hipered up the bank and then begun to blame me for it as if i had done it when i was in the boat and dident tuch their old worf. and Mrs. Lydia Simpkins shorl went floting down river and i had to row out and get it and she sed i had augt to know better than to get too many peeple on a worf and wet their feet and they thougt i done it a purpose. sum peple wood have given me ten cents. she mite have thanked me. the minister was all rite. he sed it wasent my falt. so they was more cairful nex time and one at a time they tiptode acros the worf and got into the boats. i had my boat full and al the women grabed at the sides of the boat and hollered wen it rocked the teentyest bit.

but after they see i gnew what i was about they begun to have a good time draging their hands in the water and setting one sided. it made it awful hard to row but i dident say nothing but rew as hard as i cood. i dident know until we got to the eddy woods why it was so hard. it was becaus Thomas Edwin Folsoms coat tales were draging in the water all the way. if i had gnew that i dont beleeve i wood have sed nothing. they sung songs like lightly row, lightly row ore the sparkling waives we go and rocked in the cradle of the deep and come away come away theres moonlite on the lake and row brother row the stream runs fast the rapids are near and the boat is—-sumthing or other i have forgot. they always sing songs like them.

when we got up to the Eddy they got out and the decons coat tales were driping over his hine legs so he took his coat off and hung it on a lim of a tree to dry. then i had to lug all the baskets and pales up the bank. befoar i went down for a second lode of peeple Mrs. Dearborn give me 2 more sanwiches and 3 donuts and a drink of lemonade for rowing them so good and when i had et them i started down river again. it was bully to se how eesy that boat went after the people was out. it was jest as eesy as nothing at all. i met all the boats comeing up. they was rowing evry whitch way. the oars was splashing and not keeping time. there was one man whitch thougt he was a grate rower. he set in the back rowing seat and had 2 or 3 full groan peeple in the front part of the boat and a little dride up woman who dident weig more than a empty basket on the back seat and she was triing to steer the boat. the bow of the boat was sunk down and the stirn was up in the air so that the ruder dident tuch the water. the boat would swing round and the man wood pull sideways till his face was all one sided and jaw at his wife becaus she dident know enuf to steer a boat, and she wood paw back that she gnew as mutch about steering as he did about rowing. they were having a real good time.

then i met Beany with 2 fat wimmen in the stirn seat and in the front seat Beany was up so high that his oars cood hardly reech the water and the boat was one sided becaus one woman was twice as fat as the other and the other peeple were leening over the side of the boat and Beany was sweting like a horse and mad enuf to bite a peace out of the bow of the boat and eat it and he was going about one mile an hour and his face was as red as Skiny Bruces hair. i set up and rew with long even stroaks and fethered my oars and dident splash a bit and the boat went on an even keel with little whirlpools when the oars came out and when i passed Beany the peeple in his boat sed dont that Shute boy row well, i wish he was rowing this boat. if he was we wood get there sum time today. and Beany was mad and i heard him say huh old Plupy is only showing off.

well when i got back to the worf there was sum more peeple wating with sum milk cans of lemonaid, and a freeser of ice creem and i was so hot from rowing so hard that i set down and brethed hard and wiped my face and held my head in my hands. they asted me if i was sick and i sed no only xasted becaus i am so thirsty my throat is dry. so they give me a glas of lemonaid and a saucer of ice cream and 2 peaces of cake and after i had et that i sed i felt better and was ready to row them up. they asted me how long it would taik and i sed if they wood set so the boat wood run even i wood do it prety quick. so they done as i sed and i rew steddy by the gravil and the oak and the cove and the fishing bank to the willows whitch is haff way and they give me 2 glasses of lemonaid and when i had drank it i started again and rew stedy till i got to the last tirn when i passed Beany and the other boats that the old pods were rowing.

when i went by Beany he sed i bet you havent been way down to the worf old Plupe and the peeple in my boat sed he surely has and the fat wimmen in Beanys boat sed the nex time we come up we will get him to row us and not you Elbrige. i sed to myself low so they woodent hear me i bet you wont if i can help it.

well i landed my peeple at the bank and luged up their stuff befoar Beany got there. when he got there a awful funny thing hapened. Beany he give 2 or 3 long stroaks to land the boat and he done it pretty good for him. while the boat was running in Beany balanced in the bow ready to gump out and hold it. well when he done it and lifted the bow to pull up the boat the stirn went down so far that the water came over the side of the boat and the fat wimmen were setting in about six inches of water. well they screeched and tride to get up but they was weged in so tite that they coodent till 2 of the men gumped into the boat and yanked them up and you augt to hear them lay into Beany. the back of their dreses was sopping wet.