Brite and Fair

by Henry A. Shute

June 9, 186—-Sunday again brite and fair it is always brite and fair sundays so fellers has to go to chirch. last nite when Keene was going to bed we heard sum feerful screaches in her room. mother and aunt Sarah just hipered upstairs thinking Keene had tiped over the lamp and was burning to deth and both hollering for mecy sakes what is the matter. nothing was the matter only a dorbugg had flew into her hair and stuck there and scart her most to deth. mother said she had augt to be ashaimed of herself. mother give me the dorbugg and i am going to put it down Beanys back. i bet Beany will gump.

Beany come to our chirch today. they wasnt eny chirch at the unitarial. in sunday school Beany spoke a peace about a fli. it said god made the little fli but if you crush it it will die and then he set down. the rest of us laffed but the minister told us it was the best peace of all and it showed that Elbridge, that is Beany you know, was kind to flise and insex of all kinds and if we was all like Elbridge, Beany you know, the wirld woodent have as mutch mizzery in it. we was all mad with Beany for showing off and we were going to lam him one after school let out. he cought a big bumbelbea whitch had flew in to the window and took sum wax and hitched a long white thread to the bumbelbea and let him go and he flew all over the chirch with that long white thread hanging down like a kite tail. everybody laffed and the girls screemed and ducked there heads down and the minister tride a long while to ketch the bumblelbea and finely he cought it by the thred and it clim up the thred and stang him and he sed drat the pesky thing and snaped his fingers and the bea flew out of the window. then the minister sed it was natural for the bea to be scart only he sed terrorfide whitch meens the saim, and it dident know who was befrending it. but it was crool to tie a string to him and the boy whitch done it wood suffer. enny way he sed you woodent do it wood you Elbridge and Beany he sed no sir. then Beany he went behine the organ and we sung oh how happy are we all in our little sunday school and Beany let the wind out of the organ 2 times. so we aint going to lam Beany. ennyway the ministers thum is all swole up.

June 10, 186—-i put the dorbugg down Beanys back. you aught to heard him holler.

June 11, 186—-rany and cold. a big black ant has got 2 nippers and can bite like time. i am going to put one down Beanys back some day.

June 11, 186—-the cat drank sum fli poison today and dide. we are going to have some fli paper after this. father says all you got to do is to get sum pich and spred it on brown paper and the flise will get their hine legs all stuck up on it and die. so tomorrow i am going down to the sawmill and scraip a lot of pich off the ends of the logs.

June 12, 186—-brite and fair. today i scraiped a lot of pich off the logs and then took it home and tonite father warmed it until it was all runny and spred it on a lot of sheets of brown linen. it was awful sticky, i bet it wood hold a cat, then befoar we went to bed he put 1 in the kitchen sink and 2 on the table and 2 on the dining room table and 2 in the setting room, and he hung one up over the sink to kech flise on the wall. well in the middle of the nite i heard awful swareing down stairs and heard father hollering for mother to come down. i set up and lissened. i gnew it wasent berglers for father cood nock the stuffing out of enny bergler and if it was i gnew he woodent let mother come down where they was dainger. so i lissened and oh time how father was swareing. i never heard enny such swareing in my life, and father aint a swareing man.

then i heard mother begin to laff. then i gnew it was all right. so i lissened. then i heard father say for god's sake get the sizzers and cut this damn linen off my head, and mother sed keep still and stop swareing, and father he sed, i have got to keep still for i am all stuck up and i had augt to be aloud to sware. then he laffed. then mother she said i am afrade i shall have to cut off most of your hair, and father he sed get hold of the end of it and yank quick. then i heard him say why dont you pull a poor cusses head off and she sed i gess i have jugging by the looks of this linen. it is all covered with hair. then i heard her cutting with sizzers and then he sed it is lucky i came down in my shert tale if i had been dressed i wood have had to go to bed tomorrow until you went down town to by me a new sute. you see father had gone down for a drink of water in the dark and had got into the fli paper. father had augt to know better than to do that becaus once he drunk sum water out of a dipper in the pale in the dark and the nex morning he found my squirrel drowneded in the pale and he never gnew whether it was drownded before he drank or after he drunk and it made him sick to wonder whitch was whitch. well after a while father and mother come up stairs again, i cood hear Keene and Cele gigling in there room and i wanted to holler do you know how many flise fli about in the warm sun but i dident dass to. this morning mother sed that father he sed he forgot all about the drink of water and dident get it but we aint going to have enny more fli paper round the house. it was wirse than having a poliseman with handcufs and twisters.

June 13, 186—-i am having awful tuf luck with my hens this year. Miss Dires cat cougt 8 of my chickings this week. i went over to tell her about it and have her pay for the chickings and she sed how did i know it was her cat and i sed it was a old yeller cat that she had for 2 or 3 years and i see it runing with a chicking in its mouth. then she sed it wasent her cat and i sed all right i am going to kill it with a rock and she sed you better not kill it if you know what is good for you and i sed what do you care if it aint your cat and she sed i will maik it mine if you kill it and you will wish you was ded if you kill it. so i went home. then Nellie steped on my best hen whitch was scraching behine her in the stall and squashed her almost as flat as a doremat. enny way i have got to do sumthing about that cat. i wonder what old mister minister wood do if a cat killed his chickings. i supose he wood say it is rong to kill a cat and that a cat had as mutch rite to live as—-as—-well as old Mis Dire.

June 14, 186—-2 chickings gone today. i let a rock ding at the cat and jest missed her. i wish i had a bull dog.

June 15, 186—-went in swiming today. 3 times. The 3 cornered flise are auful and bit like time. i squashed lots of them and they wont fli about in the warm sun enny more. I dont cair. me and Pewt are going to set a trap for the cat. Pewt can make bully box traps. if he ketches the cat i am going to give him my collexion of birds egs. it is werth it. i aint got menny chickings left.