So I'll endeavour to depict our story
In a very laconic way;
So please have patience to listen
Until I have finished my say.
We eat where'er we can find it,
And sleep hanging up on hooks;
Conditions under which we're existing
Are never published in books.
Life on these boats is obnoxious
And this is using mild terms;
We are never bothered by sickness,
There isn't any room for germs.
We are never troubled with varmints,
There are things even a cockroach can't stand;
And any self-respecting rodent
Quick as possible beats it for land.
And that little one dollar per diem
We receive to submerge out of sight,
Is often earned more than double
By charging batteries all night.
And that extra compensation
We receive on boats like these,
We never really get at all.
It's spent on soap and dungarees.
Machinists get soaked in fuel oil,
Electricians in H2SO4,
Gunner's mates with 600 W,
And torpedo slush galore.
When we come into the Navy Yard
We are looked upon with disgrace;
And they make out some new regulation
To fit our particular case.
Now all you battleship sailors,
When you are feeling disgruntled and mean,
Just pack your bag and hammock
And go to a submarine.