But our facetious Knight was too free of his Talk to be long secure; for a Hole was pick’d in his Coat in the succeeding Reign, and poor Sir John had all his Goods and Chattels forfeited to the King’s Use. It was then time for him to bestir himself; and away to Court he goes, to recover his Lands, &c. not doubting but he had Friends there sufficient to carry his Cause.
But alas! how was he mistaken; not a Soul there knew him; the very Porters
used him rudely. In vain did he seek for Access to the King, to vindicate his Conduct. In vain did he claim Acquaintance with the Lords of the Court; and reap up old Civilities, to remind ’em of former Kindness; the Pudding was eat, the Obligation was over: Which made Sir John compose that excellent Proverb, Not a word of the Pudding. And finding all Means ineffectual, he left the Court in a great Pet; yet not without passing a severe Joke upon ’em, in his way, which was this; He sent a Pudding to the King’s Table, under the Name of a Court-Pudding, or Promise-Pudding. This Pudding he did not fail to set off with large Encomiums; assuring the King, That therein he wou’d find an Hieroglyphical Definition of Courtiers Promises and Friendship.
This caused some Speculation; and the King’s Physician debarr’d the King from tasting the Pudding, not knowing but that Sir John had poison’d it.
But how great a Fit of Laughter ensu’d, may be easily guess’d, when the Pudding was cut up, it prov’d only a large Bladder, just clos’d over with Paste: The Bladder was full of Wind, and nothing else, excepting these Verses written in a Roll of Paper,
and put in, as is suppos’d, before the Bladder was blown full:
As Wynde in a Bladdere ypent,
is Lordings promyse and ferment;
fain what hem lust withouten drede,
they bene so double in her falshede: