I produced my wonderful book. The old woman scrutinized its pages, and in an oracular manner assured me that the Lord was now bringing to light the hidden things of darkness according to his word; that my manuscript was doubtless a revelation which had long been hidden, and which was now to be made known to the world, by means of her son the prophet Joseph. She then directed me up a steep flight of stairs into a chamber, and slowly crept up after me. She showed me a wretched cabinet, in which were four naked mummies frightfully disfigured, and in fact, most disgusting relics of mortality. One she said was a king of Egypt whom she named, two were his wives, and the remaining one was the daughter of another king. I asked her by what means she became acquainted with the names and histories of these mummies. She replied, that her son had obtained this knowledge through the mighty power of God. She accounted for the disfigured condition of the mummies, by a circumstance rather illustrative of the back-woods. Some difficulty having been found in unrolling the papyrus which enveloped them, an axe was applied, by which the unfortunate mummies were literally chopped open. I requested her to furnish me with a "Book of Mormon." She accordingly permitted me to take one of the first edition belonging to her daughter Lavinia, for which I paid the young lady a dollar.
From Mr. Smith's residence I proceeded to the Mormon printing office, where the official papers and "revelations" of the prophet are published in a semi-monthly magazine, denominated the "Times and Seasons." Here I purchased this magazine complete for the last year, the history of the persecution of the Mormons by the people of Missouri, and other documents of importance. The storekeeper met me at the printing-office, and introduced several dignitaries of the "Latter-day Church," and many other Mormons, to whom he begged me to exhibit my wonderful book. While they were examining it with great apparent interest, one of the preachers informed me that he had spent the last year in England, and that, with the aid of an associate, he had baptized in that country seven thousand saints. He had visited the British Museum, where he affirmed that he had seen nothing so extraordinary as my wonderful book. The Mormon authorities now formally requested me to sell them the book, for which they were willing to pay a high price. This I positively refused, and they next importuned me to lend it to them, so that the prophet might translate it. They promised to give bonds to a considerable amount, that it should be forthcoming whenever I requested it. I was still deaf to their entreaties, and having promised to shew the book to their prophet on the ensuing day, I left them and returned to Montrose.
On arriving at the house of Mr. K. my hospitable entertainer, I was informed by him that the Mormons on the Iowa side of the river had been busily engaged in trying to find out who I was, and whence I came. They had generally come to the conclusion that I was a convert to Mormonism recently arrived from England.
After tea Mr. K. provided me with a horse, and, in company with him, I took a delightful ride upon the prairie. The grass was of an emerald green, and enamelled with the beautiful wild flowers of spring. Far to the North West a line of bluffs seemed to bound the prairie at the distance of eight or ten miles, while in other directions it extended as far as the eye could reach. Numerous clumps of forest trees appeared at intervals, and herds of cattle were reposing on the grass or feeding on the rich herbage. The scene was one of novel and striking interest, and I felt pained at the reflection that so fine a region seemed destined to be given up to the followers of a mischievous delusion. Upon an eminence near Montrose, I was shewn the tomb of Kalawequois, a beautiful Indian girl of the tribe of Sacs and Foxes. She died recently at the early age of eighteen, having lingered six years in a consumption. She was buried on this spot by moonlight, with all the ancient ceremonies of her nation. Adjoining her grave was the tomb of Skutah, a full-blooded Indian "brave," and a distinguished warrior of the same tribe.
Mr. K. stated, that previously to the arrival of the Mormons, his only neighbours were the Indians, with whom he lived on the most friendly terms. Nothing could exceed their honesty and good faith in all their intercourse with him: and although heathens, Mr. K. considered them superior in morality and common sense to the "latter-day saints." Keokuk is the present chief of the Sacs and Foxes, having succeeded to the jurisdiction on the demise of the venerable Black Hawk, who died of grief at the age of eighty, in consequence of the treatment experienced by his nation at the hands of the United States. The residence of Keokuk and the chief village of his tribe, are situated near the Des Moines river, and about a day's journey westward of Montrose. The tribe consisted, before the war, of about nine thousand persons, who are now reduced to three thousand. The two sons of Black Hawk still survive, and are noble and princely both in person and in character. The Indians have the greatest possible contempt for Joseph Smith, and denominate him a Tshe-wál-lis-ke, which signifies a rascal. Nor have other false prophets risen more highly in their estimation. A few years since, that notorious deceiver Matthias made his appearance one evening at the door of Keokuk's "waikeop," or cabin. He wore a long beard, which was parted on each side of his chin; a long gun was on his shoulder, and a red sash around his waist. Keokuk demanded who he was, to which question Matthias replied, that he was Jesus Christ the only true God, and that he was come to gather the Indians, who were of the seed of Israel. "Well," said Keokuk, who is a very dignified man, "perhaps you are Jesus Christ, and perhaps you are not. If you are Jesus Christ you cannot be killed. If you are not Jesus Christ, you are a rascal and deserve to be shot. Look at these two fine rifle pistols; they were made in New York; they never miss their aim. Now see me sound them with the ram-rod. They have a tremendously heavy charge. Now I point them at you. Now I am going to fire." At this Matthias suddenly bolted, being unwilling that his claims should be tested by so novel and so striking a mode of theological argument. He afterwards obtained admission, at Keokuk's request, to the waikeop of an old Indian man and woman who lived alone. They gave him supper, and when he had fallen asleep they made a fire, and watched him all night, believing him to be the devil, whom they had heard described by the Roman Catholic missionaries.
These Indians have many remarkable customs. Before undertaking a war, their warriors fast forty days in a solitary cabin constructed of bark. During this period, they eat barely sufficient to keep themselves alive. They also sacrifice dogs; and having tied the dead bodies to trees about six feet above the ground, they proceed to paint the noses and stomachs of the victims with a deep red colour. They consult prophets, who are provided with sacred utensils, denominated medicine bags; and which contain the skins of "skunks," with other precious articles. When the warriors return from their fast, the people make a great feast on dogs which have been fattened for the occasion. None but men are allowed to attend. At the appointed hour, the warriors may be seen travelling to the rendezvous; each carrying, with great solemnity, his wooden bowl and wooden spoon. At the house appointed for the feast, the dead dogs are in readiness, together with a profusion of boiled Indian corn and beans. Mr. K. was present on one of these occasions, and took particular notice of the ceremonies. Some of the warriors began by cutting the dogs into equal portions, which they placed in a large iron kettle over a fire, and boiled for about half an hour. The remainder of the guests reclined upon mats on both sides of the house, while the fire burned briskly at the centre, the smoke escaping through an opening in the roof. The corn and beans were placed all round the room in wooden dishes upon the ground. The dog meat being sufficiently boiled, the pieces were taken out, and every person present received his share. A distinguished "brave" now arose, and made a speech; after which, a second stood up and repeated the monosyllable, "ugh." At this signal, all began to eat; holding the pieces of dog in their hands without knives or forks, and devouring with all their might. This feast on dogs is considered a sort of penance. Whoever swallows the whole of his portion is called a big brave; while those who are made sick by it, are denominated squaws. The men of this tribe enjoy themselves exceedingly at their villages during the winter, visiting one another with great sociability. All the hard work devolves upon the women, who cut down trees for firewood, make the fires, and minister like slaves to the comfort and luxury of their lords. These Indians, notwithstanding their neglect of the squaws, have many courteous and gentlemanly habits. They have no profane word in their vocabulary, and the most abusive words employed by them are liar, rascal, hog, and squaw. They, however, catch with facility the profane expressions of the whites, which they use with great readiness, and without understanding their signification. Thus, they will often employ an oath as a friendly salutation; and while kindly shaking hands with a friend, will curse him in cheerful and pleasant tones of voice.
The following morning (Tuesday, April 19th), a Mormon arrived with his boat and ferried me over to Nauvoo. A Mormon doctor accompanied me. He had obtained, I was told, a regular diploma from a medical school as a physician; but since the Mormons generally prefer miraculous aid to medicine, it is probable that his practice is somewhat limited. He argued with me as we were on the passage, and evinced a tolerable share of intelligence and acuteness. The success of Mormonism in England was a subject of great rejoicing to him. I observed, that I had reason to believe that the conquests of Mormonism in Britain had been principally among the illiterate and uneducated. This, he partially admitted; but he maintained that God had always chosen the poor, for they were rich in faith. I replied, that the class of persons to whom he referred, abounded in wrong faith no less than in right faith; and that among the lower class of persons in England, the wildest delusions, of the most contradictory character, had, from time to time, been readily propagated. I further remarked, that the same class of people who believed in Joanna Southcote, might easily be persuaded to credit the divine mission of Joseph Smith. I begged him to inform me whether the Mormons believed in the Trinity. "Yes," he replied; "we believe that the Father is God, the Son is God, and the Holy Ghost is God; that makes three at least who are God, and no doubt there are a great many more." He went on to state, that the Mormons believe that departed saints become a portion of the Deity, and may be properly denominated "Gods."
On landing at Nauvoo, I proceeded with the Doctor along the street which I mentioned before as bordering on the strand. As I advanced with my book in my hand, numerous Mormons came forth from their dwellings, begging to be allowed to see its mysterious pages; and by the time I reached the prophet's house, they amounted to a perfect crowd. I met Joseph Smith at a short distance from his dwelling, and was regularly introduced to him. I had the honour of an interview with him who is a prophet, a seer, a merchant, a "revelator," a president, an elder, an editor, and the general of the "Nauvoo legion." He is a coarse, plebeian person in aspect, and his countenance exhibits a curious mixture of the knave and the clown. His hands are large and fat, and on one of his fingers he wears a massive gold ring, upon which I saw an inscription. His dress was of coarse country manufacture, and his white hat was enveloped by a piece of black crape as a sign of mourning for his deceased brother, Don Carlos Smith, the late editor of the "Times and Seasons." His age is about thirty-five. I had not an opportunity of observing his eyes, as he appears deficient in that open, straightforward look which characterizes an honest man. He led the way to his house, accompanied by a host of elders, bishops, preachers, and common Mormons. On entering the house, chairs were provided for the prophet and myself, while the curious and gaping crowd remained standing. I handed the book to the prophet, and begged him to explain its contents. He asked me if I had any idea of its meaning. I replied, that I believed it to be a Greek Psalter; but that I should like to hear his opinion. "No," he said; "it ain't Greek at all; except, perhaps, a few words. What ain't Greek, is Egyptian; and what ain't Egyptian, is Greek. This book is very valuable. It is a dictionary of Egyptian Hieroglyphics." Pointing to the capital letters at the commencement of each verse, he said: "Them figures is Egyptian hieroglyphics; and them which follows, is the interpretation of the hieroglyphics, written in the reformed Egyptian. Them characters is like the letters that was engraved on the golden plates." Upon this, the Mormons around began to congratulate me on the information I was receiving. "There," they said; "we told you so—we told you that our prophet would give you satisfaction. None but our prophet can explain these mysteries." The prophet now turned to me, and said, "this book ain't of no use to you, you don't understand it." "Oh yes," I replied; "it is of some use; for if I were in want of money, I could sell it, and obtain, perhaps, enough to live on for a whole year." "But what will you take for it?" said the prophet and his elders. "My price," I replied, "is higher than you would be willing to give." "What price is that?" they eagerly demanded. I replied, "I will not tell you what price I would take; but if you were to offer me this moment nine hundred dollars in gold for it, you should not have it." They then repeated their request that I should lend it to them until the prophet should have time to translate it, and promised me the most ample security; but I declined all their proposals. I placed the book in several envelopes, and as I deliberately tied knot after knot, the countenances of many among them gradually sunk into an expression of great despondency. Having exhibited the book to the prophet, I requested him in return to shew me his papyrus; and to give me his own explanation, which I had hitherto received only at second hand. He proceeded with me to his office, accompanied by the multitude. He produced the glass frames which I had seen on the previous day; but he did not appear very forward to explain the figures. I pointed to a particular hieroglyphic, and requested him to expound its meaning. No answer being returned, I looked up, and behold! the prophet had disappeared. The Mormons told me that he had just stepped out, and would probably soon return. I waited some time, but in vain: and at length descended to the street in front of the store. Here I heard the noise of wheels, and presently I saw the prophet in his waggon, flourishing his whip and driving away as fast as two fine horses could draw him. As he disappeared from view, enveloped in a cloud of dust, I felt that I had turned over another page in the great book of human nature.
The Mormons now surrounded me, and requested to know whether I had received satisfaction from the prophet's explanation. I replied that the prophet had given me no satisfaction, and that he had committed himself most effectually. They wished to know my own religious opinions. I informed them that I had been educated in the Church of England, to which I was conscientiously attached. One of the Mormons said that the Church of England had a form of godliness, but denied the power thereof, and that it was the duty of all men to turn away from her. I asked him what he understood by the power of godliness. He replied, "the power of working miracles and of speaking in unknown tongues." He maintained that the Church of England denied that the gifts of the Holy Ghost are communicated at the present day to the people of God. I told him that he was mistaken, and referred him to the passages in the "Service for the Ordering of Priests," "Receive the Holy Ghost for the office and work of a Priest in the Church of God." And again,
"Thou the Anointing Spirit art,
Who dost thy sevenfold gifts impart."