Jerry Sullivan had proclaimed himself a Socialist, and was being interviewed by his friend, Mike Casey.
“Jerry, do you believe in dividing up everything with your neighbor?”
“Indeed, and I do that.”
“If you had two horses (Jerry had none) would you give one to your neighbor Flanagan?”
“I’d be only too glad to.”
“And if you had two automobiles, would you give him one?”
“Sure, Mike, I would. We should have share and share alike in this world.”
“And if you had two Angora goats (which Jerry did have) would you give one to Flanagan?”
“What, give him one of my goats! Not by a jugful! Let Barney Flanagan buy his own goats.”
One of my millionaire clients, on his return from a trip abroad, called upon me to pay his respects. In the course of our conversation he said he had become a confirmed Socialist. I expressed surprise, and said, “Then, of course, you are going to divide up all your properly with your less fortunate associates?” He said, “Oh no, but I want all the other fellows to do it.”