Granny C. Cheers? What’s the matter with the cheers, now? Yer father had them bottomed last year, and this year they were new painted. What’s to pay with ’em now?
Mary (impatiently). Do listen, all of you, to this advertisement.
Aunt M. Mary Cole, I’m sorry your head is so turned with the vanities of this world. Advertising for a pardner in that way is wicked. I hadn’t orter listen to it.
Mary. Oh, it won’t hurt you a bit, auntie. (reads) “A gentleman of about forty, very fine looking; tall, slender, and fair-haired, with very expressive eyes, and side whiskers, and some property, wishes to make the acquaintance of a young lady with similar qualifications——”
Jack. A young lady with expressive eyes and side whiskers——
Mary. Do keep quiet, Jack Cole! (reads) “With similar qualifications as to good looks and amiable temper, with a view to matrimony. Address, with stamp to pay return postage—C. G., Scrubtown; stating when and where an interview may be had.” There! what do you think of that?
Jack. Deacon Goodrich to a T. “C. G.” stands for Calvin Goodrich.
Aunt M. The land of goodness! Deacon Goodrich, indeed! a pillar of the church! advertising for a wife! No, no, Jack; it can’t be him! He’d never stoop so low!
Jack. But if all the women are as hard-hearted as you are, and the poor man needs a wife. Think of his ten little olive plants!
Granny C. Plants? Cabbage plants? ’Taint time to set them out yet. Fust of August is plenty airly enuff to set ’em for winter. Cabbages never begin to head till the nights come cold.