I am desired to inform the Board of Aldermen that Mr. Alderman Gill died last night by order of Mrs. Gill.
The words printed in italics could not have been in the mind of the writer when he began, or he would have placed them after desired, or (better still) he would have said, “I am desired by Mrs. Gill, etc.”
3. Make short sentences.
Beware of using and and so too much. Avoid such a sentence as the following:
Once upon a time there was a fox and he went into a vineyard and there he saw many bunches of beautiful ripe grapes hanging on high and he tried to reach them and he could not jump high enough and so he turned to go and said “It does not matter; the grapes are sour.”
Such a sentence ought to be divided into several; thus:—
A fox once went into a vineyard. There he saw many bunches of beautiful ripe grapes hanging on high. He tried to reach them, but found that he could not jump high enough. As he turned to go he said, “It does not matter; the grapes are sour.”
The following sentence has several faults besides its length:—
He [Swinton] did with a sort of eloquence that moved the whole House lay out all his own errors and the ill spirit he was in when he committed the things that were charged on him with so tender a sense that he seemed as one indifferent what they should do with him, and without so much as moving for mercy or even for a delay he did so effectually prevail on them that they recommended him to the king as a fit object of his mercy.—Burnet: History of his Own Time.
It is amended somewhat by division into shorter sentences, thus:—