I talked to it of politics, finance;
I hoped to teach the bird to say “Hurrah!”
For my pet candidates when he’d a chance,
He winked and chirped, “O pshaw!”
I am for prohibition, warp and woof,
But that bird stole hard cider through a straw,
And then he teetered off at my reproof
And thickly said, “O pshaw!”
Enraged, I hurled a bootjack, missed my aim
And plugged a passing stranger in the jaw;