“Exactly so gents, and you may as well keep your seats and tin.”
“Don’t they expect passengers to breakfast?”
“Oh! yes! they expect you to it, but not to eat it. I am under the impression that there is an understanding between the landlord and the driver that for sundry and various drinks, etc., the latter starts before you can scarcely commence eating.”
“What on airth are you all talking about? Ef you calkelate I’m going to pay four and ninepence for my breakfast, and not get the valee on’t you’re mistaken,” said a voice from a back seat, the owner of which was one Hezekiah Spaulding—though “tew hum” they call him “Hez” for short. “I’m goin’ to get my breakfast here, and not pay nary red cent till I do.”
“Then you’ll be left.”
“Not as you knows on, I guess I won’t.”
“Well, we’ll see,” said the other, as the stage drove up to the door and the landlord ready “to do the hospitable,” says—
“Breakfast just ready, gents! Take a wash, gents? Here’s water, basins, towels, and soap.”
After performing the ablutions, they all proceeded to the dining-room, and commenced a fierce onslaught upon the edibles, though Hez took his time. Scarcely had they tasted their coffee when they heard the unwelcome sound of the horn, and the driver exclaim, “Stage ready!” Up rise eight grumbling passengers, pay their fifty cents, and take their seats.
“All on board, gents?” inquires the host.