Fust. Is there nothing but bribery in this play of yours, Mr Trapwit?
Trap. Sir, this play is an exact representation of nature; I hope the audience will date the time of action before the bill of bribery and corruption took place; and then I believe it may go down; but now, Mr Fustian, I shall shew you the art of a writer, which is, to diversify his matter, and do the same thing several ways. You must know, sir, I distinguish bribery into two kinds, the direct and the indirect: the first you have seen already; and now, sir, I shall give you a small specimen of the other. Prompter, call Sir Harry and the squire. But, gentlemen, what are you doing? How often shall I tell you that the moment the candidates are gone out you are to retire to the table, and drink and look wise; you, Mr Mayor, ought to look very wise.
Fust. You'll take care he shall talk foolish enough, I'll warrant you. [Aside.
May. Come, here's a round to my lord and the colonel's health; a Place and a Promise, I say; they may talk of the pride of courtiers, but I am sure I never had a civiller squeeze by the hand in my life.
Trap. Ay, you have squeezed that out pretty well: but shew the gold at these words, sir, if you please.
May. I have none.
Trap. Pray, Mr Prompter, take care to get some counters against it is acted.
Fust. Ha, ha, ha! upon my word the courtiers have topt their part; the actor has outdone the author; this bribing with an empty hand is quite in the character of a courtier.
Trap. Come, enter Sir Harry and the squire. Where are they?
I Play. Sir, Mr Soundwell has been regularly summoned, but he has refused to act the part.