CHAPTER XX.
First Militia Law in Puddleford.—Aunt Sonora opposed to it.—Turtle sets her right.—Meeting to choose Officers.—Longbow electioneers for Captain; Takes the Chair.—Turtle objects.—P'ints of Order.—Vivy Vocy Vote won't do.—Legally authorized Boxes must be had.—Longbow's Speech.—Turtle fined for Contempt.—Longbow elected Captain.—Great Military Turn-out.—Company turn a Circle; Break down.—Turn an Angle; Break down again.—Address to Troops.—Adjourn sine die.
This great republic has ever been notorious for its patriotism, and this patriotism used to break out everywhere, in days past, into a volcanic eruption on days of general militia muster. Puddleford began very early to feel the necessity of a spontaneous expression of its devotion to our common country. When it was very new, and before any law had been passed by the legislature organizing its people into companies, regiments, battalions, and divisions, very strong premonitory symptoms of war were frequently manifested. Beagle brought into the country an old snare drum, which gave out a very crazy sound. Swipes owned a fife that squeaked most hideously; and this fife and drum, with their owners tied to them, often went on one of the most public corners of the village, on moonlight nights, and roused up the war spirit of the whole neighborhood. They seemed to put the very furies into the dogs, who barked and howled from every quarter. By and by, a law was passed by the legislature of the state, compelling every man to do militia duty, under fines and penalties that were really frightful; and Turtle most solemnly declared, upon the strength of a fee of one dollar to him paid for his advice thereon, "that the act was constitutional, and accordin' to the common la' and the staterts, and that it must be lived up to, fodder or no fodder!"
Aunt Sonora said, "she didn't see what under heavens an' airth anybody wanted of a war la'; they'd allers got along well 'nough in Puddleford mindin' their own business. Somebody allers got killed when there were so many guns and sogers, and so much powder; and for her part, she'd not stay round any such gath'rings, if she starv'd in jail. She'd quit the settlement fust!"
Turtle informed the old lady that "wimin wouldn't have-ter turn out; it was only the men over eighteen years of age—and that there was no fighting done, only in case of actual invasion of the country, when wimin and all would have-ter fight like blazes, or the whole settlement would be laid in ashes."
Aunt Sonora still insisted that "guns were dang-rous, any way; that they would go off, nobody knew when, and she shouldn't be s'prised to hear of a dozen men bein' killed at every trainin'; if men would only be ker-ful, but then they wouldn't; they'd all get as crazy as March hares, and as wild as loons!"
By the law, every company was permitted to choose its own officers, and Puddleford counted just about people enough to make a respectable organization of one company in numbers. It was resolved to hold a meeting for organization, and to immediately choose officers at the tavern of Bulliphant, no man under eighteen years of age to be present, because, as Longbow declared, "that would be agin the la', and the proceedin's would be all squashed."
In truth, Longbow had no doubt in his mind, from the very first, that he would be captain from the very necessity of the case. He was, he thought, the military pillar of the whole township, as well as the civil; and as he had generalled everything so far, he did not believe any one would dare to dispute his inalienable right to that eminent position. So the Squire began very early to talk learnedly about the last war, and the blood and fury which accompanied it; and he put on a very ferocious look when in public, and was frequently seen practising with his old fusee at a mark, which discharged like a funnel, wrong end foremost. "He had a brother," he said, "who fit at Lunder's Lane, and who was shot in the back, by savage Injuns in the rear, jest as he was a-bagnettin' some of the British!"
Turtle, who was a little ambitious for the office, and who saw the drift of the Squire's bravado, said, "he guessed he was a-runnin' when he got that are shot."