It was exceedingly fearful to hear the screams of the women, when the performer had a sword half down his throat.
"What is the man a-goin'-ter to do?" exclaimed Mrs. Bird.
"O, murder!—mur-der!" screamed Aunt Sonora, jumping from her seat.
"O, twitch it out quick—he's cho-kin'!" gasped Mrs. Swipes.
"See him!—see him!" exclaimed a dozen voices at once. "Stop him!" "Run!" "'Tis goin' right straight inter his throat." "He's dyin'! How his eyeballs glare!" "Squire Longbow!—Squire Longbow!—run—run—you're a peace officer—don't see him die!" "There! O, dear me—'tis gone down—it's outer sight—he's swaller'd it now." "He's got it inter him, mor'n three feet long." "How it must cut!" "There—there!" "I see it—he's pullin' it up agin." "I can jest see the tip end of the handle—but there ain't no blood on't." "How can he get it out?" "Well, if it ain't a comin' right out, I wouldn't say so, handle and all!" "O, dear me—whoever heer'd of a man swallerin' a sword afore!" "How his in'ards must feel!" And so on, keeping the house in a tempest of noise and alarm.
When the performer, however, began to make ready to run his "ribbon factory," as he called it, the women recovered from their fright, and were in high glee, particularly during the preliminary remarks, and during the tow-stuffing exercises. He was, beyond all question, a very funny man, and said a host of very funny things. He threw himself into many strange shapes, twisted his face out of form—looked gay and looked solemn by turns, and kept the house in a continual burst of merriment.
Mrs. Bird declared "she should die a lafin'."
Aunt Sonora said "it did seem as if her sides would split right open."
Mrs. Swipes said "she know'd that it did beat all—he was the oddest critter that ever com'd into the settlement."
Ike Turtle said "he was sum, if not more."