“Since I commenced writing of this, I had occasion to call upon a respectable farmer, who is a member of your society—(we smell a rat)—and a leader I suppose, greatly esteemed by his neighbours, who certainly have the best opportunity of knowing him as a truly pious, and useful man. Almost immediately after we were seated, he called for his pipe (for some people cannot be cheerful or make a wise bargain—symptoms of the shop)—unless their heads are enveloped in smoke. ‘Now, Sir,’ said he, ‘can you smoke any, will you have a pipe?’ ‘No, Sir,’ said I, ‘I never smoked a pipe in all my life;’—(miserable man! this he says doubtless by way of shewing his Christian self-denial). ‘I have for a long time considered it sinful, and therefore I never smoke.’ ‘Sinful,’ said he, laughing—(jolly fellow!)—‘how can it be sinful?’ ‘Because,’ said I, ‘it wastes our power of doing good. Did you never consider that.’ Upon this his wife who was sitting by, pleasantly observed, ‘Our John is a terrible smoker’—(worthy man!)—‘For goodness sake don’t make him believe that it is sinful to smoke. If he can’t get his pipe, we shall have no peace: he’ll be quite out of temper.’ ‘Nay,’ said I, ‘surely not out of temper.’ ‘Yes, for sure, out of temper enough,—quite peevish and fretful.’ ‘Now,’ said John, ‘how thou talks my dear.’ ‘Talk! why is it not true? Thou wants it first thing in the morning—then again at breakfast time—then again at noon, and then again at night—just as it happens. Why, I’ll warrant you (turning to me) he has seven or eight pipes in a day, and sometimes more,’—(sensible man!)—‘Perhaps,’ said I, ‘he’s sick, and smokes for his health.’ ‘Nay, nay, sick, bless him! he’s none sick, he has got a habit of it you see, and so he thinks he wants it. Oh, he must have his pipe—he can’t do without his pipe—sin in it! nay, surely it cannot be sinful.’ (He concludes with his favorite computation). Upon inquiry, I found, that though the only smoker in the family, yet at a moderate reckoning, he contrives to consume about 5l. worth of tobacco every year.”
This would, doubtless, have been better employed in the hands of the good promoter of the Missionaries, of whom we now take our leave; and to whom, we wish no further punishment for his cruel attempt at seeking to banish the cheerful companionship of the pipe from mansions of peace, than being compelled to the smoking of a pipe of the oldest shag himself.
In reference to King James’ Counterblaste, although, from its antiquity, as well as the rank and learning of the author, it occupies a serious claim upon our attention, yet, upon the whole, it may be termed nearly as ridiculous as the foregoing, although not in its application. It, indeed, fully bears the stamp of those antipathies that, once conceived, the monarch was seldom or never known to waive. This is more singular, as they were formed against a plant, received into the greatest favour and esteem among all ranks, and, as a medicine, was in far greater request than it is even now. Facts like these plainly establish, that James’ dislike, however acquired, proceeded from prejudice and prejudice alone.
In the first paragraph, he tells us, that it was first introduced into England from the Indians, who used it as an antidote against “a filthy disease, whereunto these barbarous people (as all people know) are very much subject.”
After bestowing a volley of abuse upon smoking, not of the most elegant description, he refers to the acquiring of the fashion that certainly generally applies in all things now, as well as it did in his own times.
“Do we not daily see, that a man can no sooner bring ouer from beyond the seas any new forme of apparell, but that he cannot be thought a man of spirit that would not presently imitate the same? and so, from hand to hand it spreads, till it be practised by all; not from any commodity that is in it, but only because it is come to be the fashion.”
Of the popularity of smoking in his time, he says himself, “You are not able to ride, or walk, the journey of a Jew’s Sabbath, but you must have a reekie cole brought you from the next poor-house, to kindle your tobacco with?”
“It is become in place of a care, a point of good fellowship, and hee that will refuse to take a pipe of tobacco among his fellowes, though by his owne election he would rather not feel the savor of the stinke, is accounted peevish and no good company; even as they do tippling in the COLD Eastern countreys.”
Of the consequences then often attending the habit of smoking, he observes, “Now how you are by this custome disabled in your goods, let the gentry of this land beare witness; some of them bestowing THREE, some FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS A YEERE upon this precious stinke, which I am sure might be bestowed upon far better vses.”
Than the assertion of the above individual enormous expenditure, nothing perhaps is better calculated to display James’s exaggeration, which actually here can only be considered hyperbolical. The idea, the bare possibility, is scarcely conceivable for a moment, that in those days, three hundred pounds, at least equal to nine hundred of our present money, was ever laid out by a single individual in smoking; excepting, indeed, perhaps, as a very rare and singular occurrence. King James concludes his Counterblaste in the following piece of declamation.