“But should not something be done with Rosenstein?” the Parson asked.
“That is for his own committee to determine,” the Colonel replied. “We have no jurisdiction. And now, Septimus, I am sure that the tit-bit of this sitting of the court will be submitted by you. We are anticipating that. I beg to move that if your case is not so pointed and interesting as those already presented, you shall be condemned to give such an order to the steward as will do something to stifle our disappointment, and take the chill from our blood on this wretched day. What do you think, my colleagues?”
“It is an excellent and a most proper idea,” the Author said, and the M.P. concurred.
“As you will,” the clergyman assented. “Now the little problem that has arisen in my mind runs this way:—
“Dives said to Lazarus, ‘These are days of charity, my poor friend, but the cases must be deserving. The par of this course is 74. If you can get round in 68 I will give you one twentieth of what I have got.’ Lazarus wept tears of gratitude, and forthwith began to take lessons and to practise exceedingly, three rounds a day, for his handicap was 24. And years passed by and he did not go round even in par; but one day, having great luck, a sensation was caused about the links, and the word was passed about that old Lazarus had got a 4 at the last hole to do 68. And he had. But he took 3 to get on the green, and then had a 10-yard putt for the 4 and 68, which was not an easy matter, particularly as the putt was downhill and there was a big slope from the left as well. Dives was watching and he smiled, but Lazarus was in sore trouble. Then he bethought himself of an idea, and he placed a ball to the left of his own and he tried to putt it to a point exactly a foot to the left of the hole. First he found that he borrowed too much, and then too little, and next that he was too strong, but eventually he got it right exactly, and his ball just got to a foot to the left of the hole. ‘Now, I know,’ he said, and then he putted his proper ball, and with great confidence, and it went into the hole! Whereupon Dives was much wroth, and said, ‘Surely I will not give you a twentieth of what I have got, for you have offended against the law and the spirit of the game, and you did not go round in 68, but are disqualified.’ Lazarus said, ‘Master, I have not offended against the law of the game, and as for the spirit thereof I care not, for having gained the twentieth of what you have got I shall never play it more.’ And when they heard what Lazarus said they were amazed, and they said they must have some proper judgment upon it. Does Lazarus come into his fortune after finding the line and strength of his putt in that fashion?”
The Parson seemed pleased with himself when he had finished his statement.
“I believe the beggar’s got off—Septimus, I mean!” the M.P. ejaculated.
“I am sure he has,” agreed the Colonel.
“Now, you see,” put in the Author, “the wretched Lazarus did not tamper with the line of the putt. He practised along what was to all intents and purposes that line; but it was not the line, or else he might have been caught. He placed no mark and drew no line.”
“That is so,” muttered the Colonel thoughtfully.