“I am well aware that many persons here present will say what an absurd idea—the idea of selling straws for a halfpenny each, when there are so many lying about the street; but the reason is simply this: I am not allowed by the authorities to sell these papers, so I give them away and sell my straws. There are a variety of figures in these papers for gentlemen; some in the bed, some on the bed, some under the bed.” The following is a copy of the document thus sold:—
“Bachelors or Maidens, Husbands and Wives,
Will love each other and lead happy lives;
If both these Letters to read are inclined,
Secrets worth knowing therein they will find.
“Dated from the Duchy of Coburg.
“My Dearest Victoria,
——never did I enjoy greater bliss, than when I sat down to the delightful task of writing a love letter to thy royal highness—my sweetest angel, oh! how I do adore thy lovely form, and long for the happy hour when I shall clasp thee in my arms—My bosom heaves, my heart pants, my senses wander, my hair stands on end, my head is on fire, my feet stumbles—yea, my arms and my legs refuse to do their office; every one of my members are tantalised with varied and conflicting emotions, and my whole body is being consumed in the furnase of everlasting love! Then hasten my glorious cherub—thou heavenly samaritan, pass not away from thy adoring albert; but come and pour thy healing balsam into my smarting wounds—Then will I pleasantly repose myself on my now sleepless couch, and resining my soul to the enjoyment of that balmy sleep I have been long wanting, I shall be enchanted with the most beautiful visions of futurity, and continue to dream of love and thee! My amiable Victoria, the most pure and spotless of virgins, come to my longing arams—it is only thy dear Albert who like a bird of paradise, is calling thee to listen to his charming notes, and with fluttering wings wishes to bury himself within thy own downy plumage! Most amiable of England’s princesses—and the most virtuous of all heirs to a british diadem—I implore thee on ny bended knees, to favour my suit, above any other prince in christendom; and when thou hast deigned to exhalt me to that envied station of being thy husband, rest assured on my princely honour, that I will award to my royal bride and future sovereign, very many and living pledges of affection—anxiously awaiting your royal-Highnesses’ answer, I beg leave to subscribe myself
“Your adored Lover,
“ALBERT,
“Prince of Coburg.”