"Colonel," said the General, hardly waiting for his entrance, "these mistakes multiply so, as I proceed in my duty as Reviewing Officer, that I am utterly confounded as to what course to pursue."
"Will you please point them out, General?"
"Point out the Devil!—will you point to something that is strictly in accordance with the regulations? Here you have 'Private John W. Holman, Co. I, 212th Regt. P. V.,' and then not two lines below, it is, John W. Holman, Private, Co. I, 212th Reg. P. V.' Now, by G—Colonel, one is certainly wrong, and that blunder did not come from Division Head-Quarters."
"Will the General please indicate which is correct?"
"Indicate! that's the d——l of it, that is the perplexing question; my French authorities are silent on
the subject, and yet, sir, you must see that one must be wrong."
"That does not follow, General; it would be considered a mere clerical error. Records that I have seen have titles preceding and following both."
"There is no such thing in military law as a mere clerical error. Every thing is squared here by the regulations and military law. The General or Colonel who is unfortunate in consequence of strictly following these, will not, by military men, regular officers at least, be held accountable. Do not understand me as combating your knowledge of the law, Colonel; you may have excused, in your practice, bad records successfully on the ground of 'clerical errors,' but it will not do in the army. There's where volunteer officers make their mistakes; they don't think and act concertedly as regulars do. Individual judgment steps in too often, and officers' judgments play the D—l in the army. Now, in France, their rules in regard to this, are unusually strict."
"They order this matter better in France then," observed the Colonel, mechanically making use of the hackneyed opening sentence of "The Sentimental Journey." "And they manage them better, Sir;—Another thing, Colonel," quickly added the General, "t's must be crossed and i's carefully dotted. There are several omissions of this kind that might have sent the Record back. By the way, whose hand-writing is this copy in?" said the General, looking earnestly at the Colonel. "A clerk's, sir." "A clerk! Another d——d pretty piece of business," continued the General, rising. "Colonel, that record is not worth a G—d d—n not a G—d d—n, Sir! Who ever heard of a clerk being employed? no clerk has a right to know any thing of the proceedings."